all about me..

Inspired by Annie B...

People in the real world call me Laura.

I have no nick name. Never have, always wanted one but you can't asign those to yourself.

I love smiling at people in the street and giving people directions.

I always make a point of smiling at same-sex couples walking down the street holding hands. I'm glad they are comfortable to do so, and am truly happy for all who are in love!

I never really got into cigarettes and rarely smoke pot, but when I do I tend to enjoy it (pot that is)

I love to collect makeup, because it fits everyone and doesn't assign a label to you or size.

I love dogs.

I love cats, but I'm allergic.

I don't consider fish pets, to me they are decoration.

I have a blackish brown bob of hair with a "sassy fringe" that I don't tie up because I can't, too short!

I'm pretty good at computers, but I hate fixing other peoples, so I like to keep that talent quiet.

I'm not a clean freak, but I can't handle it if there is a smell!

I hate air freshners.

I love candles.

I used to love hosting parties but then I threw one and my grandmother died the next day. I fear for my loved ones at the thought.

I enjoy interior desgin but not gardens.

I would find cheating on a loved one to be unforgiveable.

I love music, all kinds. Lately I'm a big fan of Jason Mraz

I'm very bad at math.

I'm not interested in one-night stands or jumping into sex too quickly.

I have awful handwriting and I can't draw or paint to save my life.

I love sushi.

I enjoy a good night out with friends, but prefer a night in with a movie...

I drink alcohol regularly, but not in excess (regularly).

I have stretch marks on my hips and thighs from going through puberty over night.

People rarely think I'm 22, they always guess 26.. This was once a blessing but is now a curse.

I can't function without acid reducers.

I have a series of feminist pins on my purse, which causes people on the bus/subway to stare.

I love the beach but hate the sand getting into everything.

I am very good at procrastinating my responsibilites for ones that are more fun.

I love children, but am not ready to have my own.

I have a libertarian brother. I love my discussions with him as he is very educated in political science and social justice.

My other brother is a hippie.

I think my father might secretly be a republican. I think thats just because he likes his money.

I've never thought of myself as "sexy"

My battle with annorexia ended when my Nona called me ugly and asked where my boobs went.


Thats all about me.. tell me all about you!

-LMK

Little Anti-Feminists Everywhere

Feminism: movement for the political, social, and educational equality of women with men; the movement has occurred mainly in Europe and the United States. It has its roots in the humanism of the 18th cent. and in the Industrial Revolution. Feminist issues range from access to employment, education, child care, contraception, and abortion, to equality in the workplace, changing family roles, redress for sexual harassment in the workplace, and the need for equal political representation.

________________________________________________

My boyfriend was at work and his younger (read 19) coworker came and and exclaimed "I'm so proud of myself! I finished my essay on a feminist view of film, and I can't stand feminists!"

My boyfriend was obviously taken aback by this and ask her:

BF:"What is your issue with feminists? Don't you appreciate all they have done for you?"

coworker"Well, I just want to have kids and be a mom, so I don't know what they have done for me! They are just a bunch of whiny manhaters!"

BF:"oh, so you don't mind making less money then men for the same job? You would rather NOT have the right to vote?"
coworker:"oh, well I guess that part was good"

My boyfriend was very curious as to how I would have reacted to this girl had I been there.
It would have been a very simple statement..

"You wrote that essay for University? And you like University? You are being allowed to take a class in film huh? and not just nursing, typing or teaching? Ya you have a feminist to thank for that. How about your tattoo and various piercings? The fact that your arms are bare and you get to wear a bikini to the beach? Yep, feminists made that happen too.... You were saying?"

As my pin on my purse says "Feminism is the radical notion that women are people"

I had a drink with a professor once who discussed one of the major problems with feminism today. It's that women in their early twenties did not watch the battles, or see the way it was before the feminist movement and often times do not appreciate it. All they know about feminism is that some women got together and burned their bras, and apparently hated men.

They don't see the struggles women went through (and are still going through around the world) to gain access to education, a fair representation in the political process or the same protections under the law granted to a man.

I hope my future daughter(s) and students will be better than that. That they will be able to look beyond the connotations of feminism and at what the movement has actually acheived.

Interview me..

Ah a day of double, if not possibly triple posts..
I asked for it so here it comes, Lil'Red's 5 questions.
If you don't know how this works, you leave a comment saying "interview me" or "bite me" or anything close... and you will get 5 questions from me on your blog, then you have to answer them...

1.so, your sitting on a swimmingpool filled with jello and you all of the sudden have to pee, what do you do?
as a kid I thought pool pee was disgusting, and I still do. Lake pee or ocean pee is okay but pool? ick... that an jello, the heat would melt it right there so EVERYONE would know!
So, I would get out of the pool. An ocean full of jello on the other hand... .

2.you go into a sexshop to buy yourself a new vibrator, do you
a. keep your head down hoping noone will recognize you.
b.just act like its business as usual and pick what you want, pay and leave
c. ask the clerk to put batteries in it for you so you can feel how powerful it is and when he does say"i bet that'll feel good when i get home"

So apparently I'm a vibe queen and searching for "durex vibe elipse" will get you my blog on google.
Funny story about vibes.
I lived in a condo with 3 guys all in the same frat my 2nd year of school. We had the playboy channel and goldbond EVERYWHERE (if you don't know why, don't ask). We were going to the grocery store in one of the guy's car, and they thought it would be funny to make me "suffer" by going to the stag shop and looking at porn.
Well I went straight for the vibes, talked with the lady there, was very descriptive about what I wanted and she was great. She tested it out for me to make sure it worked. This was my intro to vibes. The boys were scared.
Now when I go to the vibe store with the boyfriend we play with them, usually they are already revved up and ready to go, so we will turn them on and look at the "out there things" (whips and bum stuff) and are very respectful.
I see the vibe store as a community where I can talk about my vibes and love it.

3.you are about to jump out of an airplane, where is the one spot in the world you would want to land?
Preferably some place really soft... like the worlds largest cotton ball?
I dont' care so long as its new to me and relatively safe (don't drop me in the middle of Sierra Leone)... France? Italy? Thailand? Aus? (so i don't have to worry about finding a ticket?)

4.what is the most romantic gesture anyone has ever done for you and who was it?

My current boyfriend is very good at the big romantic gesture.. My favorite one he has done was when I came to visit during our long distance year, tired and feeling gross from too many hours of flying. We walk into the bedroom.. there are rose petals on the bed, roses by the bed, glasses of red wine and a chilled martini glass with truffles. Candles. the temperature in the room was perfect. And he had been studying a very well written love book...
He is also great at the little gestures, like buying me a "Moleskine" notebook for all my ideas, or buying me feminist theory books just to make me happy. He loves my mind too!

5.you win the lottery for 5 million dollars and you have the choice of buying all your friends houses or buying houses for your family members which would you choose and why?

This is so loaded, because some of my friends I consider family, and some family wouldn't do the same for me I can promise you! How about I pick 5 people?
1) My parents- I would pay off their house because they love it and hate moving. then I might buy them another one in Santa Barbara where they can weekend...
2) My Aunt L - She is in dire need of a new, larger house, equiped with a small apartment for my Nona to live in.
3) my brother Mark- a nice condo (he would hate to take up too much room, but it would be a pimped out condo) in his university town so he can study there and be happy. and I would get him a maid.. that boy needs help!
4) My brother Tom (the one with his nipples showing on my flicker) - a big house with a huge yard where he can build a half-pipe to skate in and a big garage for building skateboards in. And bedrooms for his lazy ass friends to crash.
5) My twin - she isn't really my twin, but we meet in University and have the same name, and look very similar, and we both rock! Anyways... I would buy her a nice small house in Toronto where she could relax and enjoy her graduate studies, and be able to keep it clean (a house too big and she would go nuts cleaning, she enjoys it... freak). It would have a big kitchen for her boyfriend to cook in. A nice relaxing study and a small yard for their imaginary dog. Oh, and it would have to have a little guest bedroom for moi!



So those are my answers... let me know if you would like to be interviewed!!

-LMK

Top 100 lists...

I feel like fox news, only ACTUALLY fair and balanced...

Bernard Goldberg, a guy famous for working for a major network then writting a book bashing them and all they stand for (and he wonders why they don't call).
Well he decided to write another book, all about things he hates... He not only hates them but is certain that everyone else hates them to the point that they are "Screwing up America"....
Here is the actual list

Some highlights?
1. Michael Moore (worse than 23? the "Unknown American Terrorist?")
11. Noam Chomsky... 11? ya I'm not a fan of him either, but number 11??
12. Dan Rather... (again, pissed him off and wonders why he doesn't call)
42. Gloria Steinem... ah yes, for making women feel equal, thats when you stopped getting laid wasn't it? when women realized they didn't need to screw you to get a good job in TV?
81. Tim Robbins... Why because he makes you look short and fat?
96. Eve Ensler... ah yes, because women getting together in large groups talking about their vagina and screaming the word Cunt is really destroying America!



So one niffty blogger decided to make his own list of 100 things
Some highlights?
Over all I like the list, but there are still a couple of ones I disagree with..

6. Sandra Day O'Connor, for stepping down during a Bush presidency. She is in her golden years and her husband is sick, leave the woman alone.
75. Simon Fuller, I hate that guy, but the picture on his list? Ain't him!

other then that? good list!

Enjoy blogger and bloggista friends!

Why Old People Scare Me...

Remember how I said I needed a fire under my ass to get my courses done? Ya, got the fire.. a $5000 fire.
I paid my deposit for tuition. Or well, my parents did, putting me at their mercy.

My father took this as an opportunity to tell me to go visit my grandfather (his father).

My grandfather has been an alcoholic for the past 30 some odd years of his life. He hates my mother because she is a nurse and for the last year of my grandmother's life kept telling everyone she needed to go to a doctor. My grandmother never went, until she was admitted in the hospital before she died.

He also hates her for other racist reasons.

Let me give you an idea of how the conversation on the phone went with him yesterday, this portion happened after the usual conversation one would have (hi, how are you, when can I come over, blah blah blah)

Me: So how was your trip? (he just returned from visiting my family in California)
Him: Good, Mark (my brother) isn't losing any weight.
Me: Oh, I heard he had lost some, I was told he was doing yoga.
Him: Who did you hear that from?!?!
Me: My mother.
Him: Oh, well he goes sporadically, he might go monday but not again until thursday.
Me: Ohe, well what would I know, I'm not there.
Him: That and you have an Italian mother.

Now what would you say right there? I mean it is a statment of fact. My mother is Italian. What was implied is a whole other issue:
That we are all fat? (which we are in fact not at all, my grandfather's diet consists of 500 calories and a bottle of rye)
That my mother feeds us too much?
That my mother babies us? Loves us affectionately?

My actual response was:
Me: Well, it is what it is.

I love my father and know that he doesn't need the added stress of my grandfather and I in a feud, and for him I am cordial with my grandfather. So I will visit him tomorrow, but I won't let him drive me anywhere, and I will only stay for an hour or so.

I've been feeling kinda villified for being Italian lately.

I watch a soap opera, "The Young and the Restless" and I have for over a decade now..
It's always been a tradition with my mum and it gives us something to talk about, and bond over. Lately they have been doing a mafia storyline. I always cringe at those.
All the Italian characters aren't just Italian. They have slicked back shiny jet black hair, are incredibly tan, and stand out amongst the more Aryan looking cast.
In one episode, Nikki (one of the longtime members of the cast) asks about one of the mafia guys by saying "You know, the dark man, looks like he doesn't belong..."

She and My grandfather should get together for coffee.

I love my Italian heritage, and I wear it with pride. I try to introduce those that don't really know much past pizza and cesar salad (two things you may have a hard time finding in Italy, well not pizza, but it wouldn't look like the crap you get a pizza hut). I tried making risotto for my bf's very german/british/irish/scottish family.
His brother put soy sauce on it. I almost cried.
I brought panettone... an Italian cake that has bread in it. and chocolate, lots of chocolate.
No one touched it, claiming they didn't feel like eating rye bread.

Will I try again to feed his family traditional Italian cooking?
Maybe, but I won't work too hard at it. They are picky.

Will I yell at my grandfather for the years of abuse not only to his liver but to his entire family?
Maybe, but it would only cause more problems then it would solve. I never got to yell at my grandmother before she died, and I'm kinda grateful I didn't.
People may respect me less for it, claim I have no backbone and to them I say "Up yours, it's my family and I'll deal with it as I see fit."


-LMK

back on my soap box.....

Should We give up on Roe v.Wade?


I found this great article on "The Nation" and highly recommend it.

I've been hearing a lot about this whole "Roe forced states to do things they didn't want to do causing a backlash" argument and quite frankly I think its bull. Forcing states to make abortion legal doesn't mean there are doctors coming by the busload to Alabama or Mississippi from New York or California to help these women.

Its not as if Roe passed and all of the sudden abortion clinics started growing on trees all over the deep south.

What about all the restrictions placed on a state by state basis? Forcing women to look at pictures of a fetus before they can get an abortion, or the plethora of restrictions and criminalization of abortion in Kansas?

Santorum has been going on all the talk shows talking about his book and how much he loves "The American Family". He claims that Roe v. Wade overstepped its bounds and it all started because of Griswold v. Connecticut which states that married persons should be allowed to have conctraception counseling. He thinks this was the beginning of the end...

So following this logic (of giving up Roe) that states should have been allowed to make decisions about abortion rights, which states would have banned it? I think its safe to say states like Mississippi or Alabama... Probably Louisiana and Georgia, and I'm guessing Tennessee would get on the anti-woman bandwagon pretty soon too..
What do they all have in common aside from drenching humity? Poverty.

When I lived in Alabama I had health insurance and I had a mother who was enlightened enough (read worked in labor and delivery) to get me on the pill. It still cost $30 a month. Finding a low cost alternative was next to impossible in my town. Buying condoms was difficult because you couldn't go 5 feet without seeing someone you knew or someone your parents knew.

So freedom of contraception and the right to birth control would only be left for those who could afford it?
Is it really fair to say to a woman in Alabama that she is more than welcome to an abortion is she can afford to take the time off and fly to New York?

We don't need to give up on Roe and let the states decide whether or not to allow legal safe abortions. They already have.

Jon Stewart, will you marry me?

"Sexuality is unrelated to virtue" - Jon Stewart


see Santorum on the Daily Show

And some of the other places he has been stumping his book. this man should have his testicles revoked.

-LMK

Barbie is Alive and Well.. Hope you haven't eaten recently

Well making plastic version of her was never "supposed" to be damaging to women's self-esteem.

Meet this lovely woman




She's 28 and has had 26 plastic surgeries so far.
It all started after her ex-husband told her that she could need a few plastic surgeries here and there. Thank goodness it says "ex"
She got is the following:
brow lift
Botox
cheek implants
three nose jobs
veneers on her teeth
three lip implants
two boob jobs
three breast lifts
liposuction on her arms
stomach
hips
thighs
knees

And after spending $80,000 on all those surgeries, she still wants to go on with a few others.

$80,000....... think about what that kinda money could buy you?

Downpayment on a house?
Put a kid or two through college? (in Canada)
Put half in investments and travel with the rest.
Take time off and re-evaluate your life?
Get some therapy?
Feed a few thousand people in Africa?

honestly though? How frightening is this woman? She doesn't look real!

-LMK

The Times, They Are A Changing

So I've been thinking a lot about how relationships grow and change.

The past 6 weeks with my boyfriend have made me realize how well we work together, and how much I want to live with him and get married and have lots of sex and babies.
At the same time I'm really happy with now, I don't like change, I like just being us, without all the pretention of an wedding or family or all of that.
Pressures come to us in due time, I don't feel like adding any to myself.

The more I talk about my feminist leanings and my leftist leanings, the more I feel detatched from the US. I've lived there off and on for the past 8 years, more on than off unfortunately, and the way things are going down there I'm getting more appreciative of my Canadian passport. I mean how are christian fundamentalists and extremists any different from their Muslim counterparts, they seem like the differents clothes from the same cloth to me.
They both want to oppress the rights of women, and feel all other religions are a black mark on the human race.

I feel like Ferris Beuller lately, I'm against all oppressive "isms".

No one should be extremist about anything in my book, that just leads to bad things. I mean look at "extreme sports"? How many collective brain cells do you think all these guys have? 5?

All kidding aside. Everything in my life seems to be transitioning, I will be making a major move that is coming up faster then I would like, involving life, love and career choices. My family is transitioning as my mother deals with her mother's quickly erroding health. My baby brother is growing up fast (you can see his picture on my blogger bar). My other brother is quickly turning into an intelligent and sophisitcated man. My friends have all graduated university and are starting careers or grad work. My best friend just got an apartment with her boyfriend and is talking about getting a dog (gulp!).

My father asked my mother today "so is she (meaning me) still moving to Australia?" my mother said "yes of course".
Truth be told? I haven't commited completely. I WANT to go, but I have two computer science courses rearing their ugly heads at me and some nights I lay awake thinking about how they may crush this plan. I can't let that happen, but the procrastinator in me is still in gear.
I need to get my ass kicked. Maybe putting down the 7 grand deposit will do it.

Reading the lyrics and listening to the song made me long for an old record player and a glass of wine... and maybe a joint.

Are we as a society reverting to the era that inspired Dylan to pen this song? Have we returned to an era of flag burning and protests.
The parallels are frightening.

Enjoy the lyrics. Enjoy today.

-LMK


Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grow
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'.
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.
The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'

My Faith May Be Growing in The Toronto Star

TheStar.com - Rapture politics

The Toronto Star published this Article on Saturday. We've been getting it free on weekends for some strange reason, and now I'm kinda thankful.
To summarize the article, it looks at how radical religious views are taking over American politics, and at specific politicians that are shaping the way the country is run to suit their fundamentalist ideals.

Its conclusion is that as:

“As the welfare state declines, many right leaning Christian churches offer not only eternal salvation but also material assistance in the form of daycare, low-priced dinners for poor families, psychological help for the abused and a ministry for inner-city at-risk youth... As long as politics fails to provide a sense of meaning, purpose and dignity to people's lives, religious fundamentalists will step in and take up this task.”

Since the article is incredibly long, I want to give you some of the highlights, concerning some of the politicians....

They include Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, whose pronouncements against the separation of church and state are well known; former attorney general John Ashcroft, who held regular prayer meetings and covered up the bare-breasted statue of justice; and Tom DeLay, the House Majority leader, who once claimed that, "Our entire system is built on the Judeo-Christian ethic, but it fell apart when we started denying God. If you stand up today and acknowledge God, they will try to destroy you... My mission is to bring us back to the Constitution and to Absolute Truth that has been manipulated and destroyed by a liberal world view."

In Colorado Springs, Colo., Christian cadets, with the support of faculty at the U.S. Air Force Academy, have put pressure on "peers who believe differently, or who do not believe. Jewish cadets, in particular, have been targeted, charged with the murder of Christ," reports the Boston Globe.

"Dobson likens the proponents of gay marriage to the Nazis, has backed political candidates who called for the execution of abortion providers, defines embryonic stem-cell research as `state-funded cannibalism,' and urges Christian parents to pull their children out of public school systems,"

For instance, the newly elected senator from Oklahoma, Tom Coburn, has not only publicly argued for the death penalty for doctors who perform abortions, he has also insisted that lesbianism is so rampart in the schools in Oklahoma that officials let only one girl go to the bathroom at a time.

Jim DeMint, the new senator from South Carolina, stated he would not want to see "a single woman who was pregnant and living with her boyfriend" teaching in the public schools. He also wants to ban gays from teaching in public schools.
John Thune, the newly elected senator from South Dakota, supports a constitutional amendment banning flag burning.

"Under Christian dominion, America will no longer be a sinful and fallen nation but one in which the Ten Commandments form the basis of our legal system, Creationism and `Christian values' form the basis of our educational system, and the media and the government proclaim the Good News to one and all."

This is where I get scared.... This quote is from a christian political movement called "dominonism" or "christian Reconstructionism", which is said to be taking slow and quiet control of the Repulican party.... the full quote?

“Under Christian dominion, America will no longer be a sinful and fallen nation but one in which the Ten Commandments form the basis of our legal system, Creationism and “Christian values” form the basis of our educational system, and the media and the government proclaim the Good News to one and all. Aside from its proselytizing mandate, the federal government will be reduced to the protection of property rights and “homeland” security. Some Dominionists (not all of whom accept the label, at least not publicly) would further require all citizens to pay “tithes” to church organizations empowered by the government to run our social-welfare agencies, and a number of influential figures advocate the death penalty for a host of “moral crimes,” including apostasy, blasphemy, sodomy, and witchcraft. The only legitimate voices in this state will be Christian. All others will be silenced.”


Read thea article if you have the time, its very compelling. In the meantime, I will start building the bunker, for when the dominionists take over and try to take over Canada..


-LMK

Feminists for Life are Trying to Kill Me!!! (Updated)

First of all let me credit the inspiration of this post to Miss Petunia and her fabulous post concerning Feminists for Life and Judge Robert's Wife ...

I've found my feminist ways under attack lately. Mainly by people who are completely ignorant, but I digress..

Feminists For Life at first seems rather innocent, except for the quote and award they gave to Patricia Heaton, that should be your first sign these people are evil.

These so-called feminists are trying to end "the necessity for abortion" by better supporting motherhood. How would one best support "motherhood"? They aren't exactly saying.
They are willing to tell you how abortion is linked to breast cancer, how women get depressed and kill themselves after an abortion and how other things like assisted suicide and and other "silent epidemics, like murder-suicides among the elderly, or how a living will can be used against you" are runing womens lives.

As I read through their propaganda, I find one thing interesting, THEY AREN'T GIVING ANY ANSWERS!!

They have created posters with messages such as:

"Refuse to Choose"
"Feminists for Life believes that we should not feel forced to sacrifice our children for an education or a career, If you would like to work on securing non-violent choices for women or need information on pregnancy resources..."

"No one wants to have an abortion, much less a second one. But if you have had an abortion, you are at an even higher risk of experienceing the tragedy of abortion again."

"Abortion Advocates pit women against our children. But lack of emotional or financial support is the real enemy"

Not once do they mention that gee, I don't know maybe better access to free/cheap birth control might provide women with an abortion free choice?

Maybe a better look at sexual violence in the nation?

While I am willing to agree that the lack of support for single mothers has created a society that forces some women to choose between career advancement and having children, taking away our right to safe and legal abortion is not the answer.

How any organization could call themselves "Feminists" and be so blatantly anti-woman is beyond me.


Judge Robert's wife's very close ties to this organization are not necessarily a direct reflection of his (I make this argument simply because if this was a woman it was a man's political connections we would be saying the same thing), but what I want to know is how he feels about this organization?
Has he ever helped them financially or legally?
Does he denounce his wife's association (or earlier association with) this organization?

The country needs answers. Fast.


If you are curious about a couple other incredibly frightening and misleading organizations, have you heard of Concerned Women for America ? if you don't agree with them, then you must hate America!

How about the Family Research Council ? If you don't like them then you are anti-family. They are against gay marriage, birth control and abortion, but they love Judge Roberts..

Anyone heard of Focus on the Family? They are anti-abortion, stem cell research, homosexuality, divorce, and pretty much everything else possible.

How about the Moral Majority?

These names are just the first way in which they force liberal humanists to take sides, if you don't believe in what they say, you are the other, the lack. Dont agree with the moral majority or its partners? Then you are immoral, anti-American, Anti-woman, anti-feminist, and apparently, anti-family.
Think about the term "Pro-Life" because people that believe women deserve the right to choose what happens to their own body are what? Pro-Death?

It's a scary scary world.

-LMK

P.S, on a completely different topic, if your significant other makes you a huge omelette and then tells you that the eggs and meat he put in it might have gone bad, don't eat it to show how much you love them. The food poisoning isn't worth it.

Island, nudes,drinks, exboyfriends..Part 2

*Disclaimer: I have no problem, nor have I have I ever had any problem with little people, all short jokes in this post are merely an easy way to make fun of an ex without belittling his penis*

So we left off at going to the bar..

The Bar
We met up with the BF's coworkers and a couple of my friends at a bar called "The Madison" which consists of two beautiful old houses linked together by a maze of balconies and stairs. It's a great bar so long as you all come in together because chances are you won't find anyone inside.

Or so I thought.

I haven't ever really blogged about my ex. Never thought he was worth the time. Long story short? He was a horse's ass, treated me like I was his girl on the side while he was waiting to find the woman he could really marry (there was a bit of a religious conflict between the two of us).
My current BF had heard some stories about the awful ex, but never seen him, or seen a picture of him.

Lo and behold, doesn't the ex go walking right past our booth and into the men's room. I immediately draw attention to him. My BF thinks this is hilarious and follows him into the bathroom to get a better look (but not at his penis, apparently there is some "code of the urinals" that says no two men will pee right next to each other, whatever). He comes back and laughs his ass off. My ex walks out, walks right past and doesn't see me, and we all get a good look at him. My boyfriend cannot believe I dated him, and hopes that my tastes have improved since him.
My ex isn't exactly ugly, but he is 5'4. My current bf is 6'1. enough said. Jokes were made about how my ex represents the lollipop guild, wears lifts in his shoes, and so on.

The rest of the evening was spent drinking and my chanting a quiet prayer that I wouldn't have to actually introduce him to the BF, as I thought he was too drunk not to ask him if he could help him find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

My day will now be spent nursing my hangover, and reading about the history of the computer operating system.. wop-di-freakin-do...

-LMK

BTW, this post is a bit of a landmark for little miss knit's blog o' fun. It's my 100th post!! WOHOO

Island, nudes,drinks, exboyfriends..Part 1

So I had a bit of a crazy day yesterday. So much so that I think it warrants two posts. So read on, I hope you enjoy!

Part 1: The Beach

My boyfriend and I decided that we would meet up and go to Toronto Island. It was tons of fun, we had a picnic lunch that I had packed and had a great time walking around enjoying the view.

We decided to rent bikes so that we could see the whole island quickly, that and they were the bikes I adore, kinda like this:

So in my mind the bike I rode around the island will always look like this, and the style is right, but it was much more decrepit.


So I go to mount the bike and realize i'm wearing a skirt, that comes to my knees and isn't all that flowing.
Can you guess what I had to do?
did ya figure it out?

Yep, I had to bike with my skirt hiked up so far that oncoming bikers, walkers, small children and dogs could see my panties. My boyfriend was very upset he couldn't see the view from his bicycle.

The island has a few really cool things to see (and no centerville isn't one of them!), my favorite is the houses. The houses on the island were bought up by artists decades ago and painted and renovated by them. Really cool cottage style houses painted funky colors and landscaped in amazing mazes of wild flowers and wierd shrubs.

Another interesting reason to go to the island? The "clothing optional beach"... The sign should actually read..


I have never seen so many ugly naked men in my life. Just walking around, genitalia flopping around. Nude beaches are never like they are in the movies. The only people that are nude, are the ones you wish would stay clothed.

My boyfriend and I stood out pretty well seeing as we were the only ones wearing any clothes. I never thought that would be the only way to pick me out of a crowd.

Now I'm not a prude, and if we didn't have to return the bikes and maybe had a towel, I could have been willing to strip down to my birthday suit and enjoy the sun. But I'm not about to get naked infront of 200 naked old men. That and the idea of putting calamine on a sunburnt labia isn't my idea of a fun time.

So after seeing all the naked men, we decided to return the bikes and go home.

After dinner we decided to watch Kinsey. I was very facinated by this film when it first came out, since I find the myths we have been told about sex are quite amusing, if not a little frightening (like the idea that going down on a woman will make her sterile, I bet a man thought that one up!). I also love Peter Sarsgaard..

Little did I know that I would be seeing yet another penis. This time, Mr. Sarsgaard's (the joke about Peter's Peter was not lost on me) .
I was shocked.
I was in penis overload.

Then the phone rang, and we were out the door to meet a few of my bf's coworkers at a bar..

So people don't like talking about vibrators eh?

So I guess people don't like talking about vibrators.
Alright, thats fine, I can deal. I'm not hurt....

Moving on.

So bush presented us with his Supreme Court nominee. Big frickin surprise. Talk about smart though. Nominate a guy who has done.... NOTHING! His positions on things? He hasn't quite formed any viable opinions because he hasn't really presided over anthing ground breaking.

Bottom line? huge conservative, end of story, given the opportunity will probably take the big circle with the line through it thats on the picture at the top of my blog off and just leave women with a coat hanger.

-LMK

Canadians, Third to Legalize Gay Marriage, First to Sell Vibrators in Drug Stores!

I've been a very busy bloggista today, too much to blog about..
Everyone knows that I did the Vagina Monolgues (and if you don't, you do now).
I did the "vagina facts". one of them is that it is illegal to sell vibrators or anything sex toy related in Alabama.
Compare Alabama to my home and native land....

are Canadians obsessed with vibrators? According to the 2004 Durex Global Sex Survey, the answer is a resounding yes. In fact, 39% of Canadians, both male and female, report already owning a vibrator. The ownership rate throughout the rest of the world is 27%. Interestingly, it seems that sexual exploration increases with age. Ownership jumps to 51% among Canadians 25-34, and tops out at 61% among respondents aged 44-55.

Let me just say first of.. I LOVE my vibrator. I won't expound. Well maybe later...

Clearly, there is a substantial demand for these products in Canada. To meet this demand, Durex(R) has launched a new line of personal massagers under the brand name Play(TM). These massagers are now available in London Drugs stores across British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan and Manitoba, marking the first time that personal massagers have been available in mainstream retail drug stores. Stephanie Mitelman, a certified sexuality educator and president of Sexpressions, which offers sexual health prevention workshops across Canada, thinks that's good news for couples. "We seem to be increasingly more open to exploring our sexual desires and experimenting with having a little more fun in the bedroom," said Mitelman. "The availability of these massagers on mainstream retail shelves is an opportunity for men and women to connect in new ways and celebrate the freedom to enjoy personal massage."

The drugstore did so well that they couldn't keep them on the shelves.
They are $70 a piece, plus tax. Would you like to be introduced?



* Ellipse -- body-contoured design makes it easy to control and use anywhere
* Luna -- designed to be rolled all over the body in a sweeping caress that relaxes tense muscles (and save for internal)
* Little Gem -- slips comfortably between your fingers offering a precision massage at your command

My favorite? Little Gem.. The size and shape of the soft, curved pad have been designed specifically for your clitoris and labia. A flexible tip at one end creates a delicate fluttering sensation – a little like gentle, rhythmical licking.


Hell yea!!

For the record, I don't work for Durex.
I am however very excited of the thought of any woman in canada being able to walk into a drug store and buy a vibe, the packaging is discreet and the design is as well. Your kids find it? Who cares? its mommy's massager enough said. no need to go into detail, since it doesn't look like traditional vibes.

One small step for Canada, one giant leap for Womankind!

-LMK

Nothing wrong with average..

God I love internet tests with very little scientific backing!!

and its quick and dirty... wohoo!!

Your IQ Is 105

Your Logical Intelligence is Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Yes Bart and in "Rand McNally" people wear shoes on their hands and hamburgers eat people!

My boyfriend and I are running like rats looking for the pellet while trying to navigate the Australian Immigration system. We keep getting the pellet that's electrified.

We went through the maze and found out how to register my bf as a teacher (remember I'm going as a student so my visa status will be simple). He got his registration in order, and is now certified to teach in Brisbane. So he tries to apply for a job. He gets a whole pretty packet together, writes the 3 page letter of introduction the whole thing was just spiffy.

Then he gets an email.

They won't even let him apply unless he has a visa. Can't get a visa without a job.

So he calls them. They explain that they aren't in the practice of sponsoring Visa's for overseas employees. How they manage to get them to their fair state otherwise I don't understand.

So he calls the "High Commission" and they walk him through a list of Visa's he can apply for that could make him eligible to teach. very few actually apply for him.

So now what? apply to a different state and we do the long distance thing only in a different hemisphere?

I just want us to run away to Australia and not worry about all this money business.

I wish we could win the lottery and I could take him there with me, I could be his sugar momma.

AUGH

-LMK

Best.... Blog... Ever

So in order to restore the karmic balance after I introduced all of you to an evil bloggista, let me invite you to check out the coolest blog on the planet... "Alas, A blog"
A brilliant collaborative effort between 3 very intelligent, educated people.

Amazingly enough, Nuclear Beaver and I blogged about this pretty close together (she was enlightened long before me!), and she references their blog here

I found this blog this weekend while researching anti-feminism a concept I still don't fully understand, but this particular post and this response to the backlash it created I think is the best argument for pro-choice I have ever read, from a pregnant woman.

Other posts that are amazing (and close to home and field I hope to enter) concerning sex ed

No sexist ad today, I don't think I've let the last one run long enough! We shall see what you guys think..

-LMK

A silly weekend

I was rather unproductive today, for some reason I'm having a harder time getting over this cold then I would have thought. Maybe that has somethingto do with my lack of red meat,but I doubt it.

I learned something this weekend though. I learned that my boyfriend cannot read my mind. I for some reason I thought that when I was sick he would magically know how to take care of me. Know all the little things I would want to make me feel better.

Not so much. Apparently you have to explain these things. And when I did, it was fantastic. He took very very good care of me. Lots of laying in bed, watching Arrested Development and being brought food. FABULOUS.

I'm going to start a new series. The blogista insane advertisment collection




I will be showing lots of ads like this and I want to get your opinon... and let me know if you find any other ones...


fun times....

-LMK

Women Who Should Have Their Vagina's Revoked.

So I've seen a lot of insane crap in the past few years from conservative women and crazy women in general. I would like to introduce you to (although I'm sure you've heard of her) a woman who I think should officially have her vagina revoked.


1) Ann Coulter

This woman is for lack of a better term, bat shit crazy. For those of you that saw her on The Fifth Estate you understand. She makes up sources with no pretense of backing up her statements, she thinks Fox News is too liberal.

She makes me fear tall blond anorexic women everywhere.
She is the kind of conservative that not only wants to see liberals defeated, she also wants to boil us alive and then piss on our remains.

Hence my nominating her for revocation. I honestly think she would eat her young.
Any more nominations?

-LMK

Scary Blog of the week. Angry Republican Mom
I especially like her post concerning "feminazi's" I pray she doesn't have a daughter
or a fabulous discussion on guns!
oh and read the comments... the crazy really comes out there!

Still Sick.

So I have entered phase 2 of my lovely flu... Losing my voice.

The drugs have made it possible for me to function at almost full capacity, was able to go to the library for 3 hours, but I'm still really tired and dizzy. no fun.

For those of you that enjoyed The Corporation, I would like to recommend a book..


This book takes a great look at the advertising industry and how it distorts our view of the way our lives should be. Her main focus is how the cigarette and alcohol industries target women, but she looks at how children and men are used and abused as well.

I've been thinking a lot about how advertising shapes our lives (women especially) when it comes to marriage.
We are trained to believe that if we don't:
get the biggest ring
have the prettiest dress
an open bar
weigh some unholy and unnatural weight
pick the perfect "first dance" song
have the best menu
have the biggest wedding
long expensive honeymoon
the perfect huge cake (I hate wedding cake)
Invite family that we hate
the perfect, prettiest location
the perfect, attractive husband.

then why bother getting married at all?!?!
These magazine, bridal shows, tv shows, all geared to make us expect a wedding we can't afford. We are trained to believe that marriage is not about a union with the person you love, but instead about how many people you can impress or "show up". Would we even care about having a big wedding if we weren't trained with our "Bridal Barbies" and magazines?

It all makes me fear the day I join someone as crazy as me in unholy matrimony.


Peace, Love, and lots of codeine
-LMK

I'm Sick...

So I was hoping to let my last post ride for a few days, but it looks like everyone got bored with it, so moving on...


This morning I woke up and was feeling like shit warmed over. It was bad.



I felt like this guy, fever, sore throat, foggy head, couldn't eat couldn't sleep... It generally sucked.





I hate being sick, I hate being vulnerable and needing to be taken care of. I especially hate it when no one is around to take care of me!


My boyfriend came home around 3 pm and brought me soup, but I don't really think he knew just how sick I was until I lost it on him to go buy me drugs. My mother always said "better living through chemistry" and I've always taken that to heart. I mean why be sick if you don't have to be?

So now that I have taken my mother's famous combo of sinus medication and tylenol with codeine (yes in canada you can get that over the counter) I'm actually functioning, how fun!

So hopefully tomorrow I will feel better enough to post something more insightful, but for now I'm just gonna enjoy not wanting all the lights in the world to be shut off because they were hurting my brain!

I'll be back to normal soon,

Little Miss Knit

Sound and Fury

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle.
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more.
It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
- Macbeth.


I watched The Corporation tonight. Amazing documentary. I'm all about documentaries lately, it seems the regular predictable romantic comedies aren't doing it for me lately. I prefer the real horror, the real drama of being told about my life is being controlled,commodified and resold over and over by big business.

The film made me think more and more about the beauty of TiVo. It will be essential in my home as I do not want to expose myself or my future children to hours of advertisement.

This movie first made me want to hide under my bed, read my feminist and social theory books with a flashlight and have water and fruit brought to me for sustenance.

Then I got mad. I got mad at the thought that there are corporations out there who's only job is to figure out how to better market to children. How to brand them at a young age so that they will forever be consumers of their product.



Do you ever think about how controlled you are by marketing and corporations? Do you remember the last time you salivated over a sale at the gap, forgetting that whether you pay $20 or $5 for that t-shirt, the person that made it still only got paid 15 cents?

Sure, sure, I tell people I shop at American Apparel , truth be told, I will buy a t-shirt at a concert if AA made it, but I really can't afford $25 for a t-shirt.

Or can I?

Maybe if I have just 2 t-shirts at $25 a piece instead of 10 t-shirts?

It's all about choices.

In the end I worry that I am an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Maybe You've Been Brain Washed Too..

For those of you that didn't know, I lived in Alabama for most of high school. In a tiny town in Alabama. I had to hear about how the confederate flag was just a symbol of Southern Pride and not racist. I had to see how the KKK was still alive and well, just a little quieter.

I thought moving to California meant I had escaped that.


Guess Again.

Prussian Blue is a tween band made up of twin sisters. They want you to know all about them, and just how Aryan they are.

This is yet another example of how certain people should be chemically castrated.

To better understand just how evil these poor girls parents are see here or here . What frightened me most was these girls are 12. At 12 years old no girl just wakes up one morning and decides that the Holocaust never happened, or that they want to travel around the country singing about how great it is to be White.


Hate is learned. Hate is taught. No one is born wanting to hate.


How about some particularly frightening quotes from Prussian Blue's Members, Lamb and Lynx?

"We think that they should work to look as good as possible by working out and dressing nice to show that people who are White Nationalists are not scary, but good people."

keep in mind TWELVE YEARS OLD!

"Aryan Man Awake: This is an original. Our mom wrote the words and Lamb set it to music. My mom said that she was inspired to write it by the Ruby Ridge and Waco murders which were both major reasons that she became an activist"

So glad their mother writes for them!

"Kids are considered pretty important to the White Nationalists that we know. When someone has a baby it is a big deal..... But kids also need to feel like they can do things to help our race. The most important thing we can do right now is grow up healthy and try to learn all we can so that we can be more effective in the future"



I'm afraid...



-LMK

As You Like It

I went to go see "As You Like It" at the Stratford Festival. Stratford is a pretty little town about an hour and half outside of Toronto, kinda in the middle of nowhere. While I could never imagine living there (too isolated for me) the beauty was astonishing. A culturally filled downtown core (the town consisting of 30,000 people so downtown was 2 blocks) and a beautiful walking path along a river, filled with ducks and small inlets with weeping willows perfect for a picnic.

It was a nice romantic getaway to say the least.

The production of "As You Like It" was done with a very interesting twist, set in the 70's and with music written by the Bare Naked Ladies. It was hilarious.

I find it interesting Shakespeare was a proto-feminist while at the same time the most misogynistic playwrights of all time. The man could also write a great epilogue and pray it would make his audience forgive him.

I don't think Shakespeare liked to write endings. They always seem be the same (depending on the genre) and as if he wrote it 2 minutes before curtain. Don't get me wrong, he was a brilliant writer blah blah blah, but sometimes I wonder.

What if Shakespeare was a soap opera writer? Wouldn't it be perfect for him? Was he not truly the first soap opera writer? Mistaken identies, long lost twin brothers, suspicious paternity, everything magically working out in the end?



Just a thought...


-LMK

The Down-Low, its about gratification not orientation

So Oprah wants you to know that black men everywhere are having secret gay sex. They are coming back to their wives and giving them AIDS.

She has a man on who wrote a book. She asked him if he was gay his response confused me...


Oprah: So are you gay?

D.L. : I'm not gay, once you say you are gay people look differently at you, they classify you. I don't want to be clumped with that group.

EXCUSE ME? So you think you are better off telling everyone you cheated on your wife with men, engaged in high risk behaviour and exposed her to HIV/AIDS then just coming and out living as a gay male?

I'm incredibly confused.



J.L. King thinks if he allows you to label him 'gay' then you will think he is a freak... cause there is no here that would call him a freak for cheating on his wife with other men, exposing her to HIV/AIDS.

He also offers tips to men in straight relationships while also on the "down low"

- If you're wife figures out you are cheating, tell her it's another woman. She is more likely to to forgive you for cheating with a woman then with a man!



So if your boyfriend cheated on you with a man, would you be less forgiving than if he cheated on you with a woman?


What do you think of the down-low?

-LMK

London Calling

I had posted this longwinded description of my thoughts and feeling concerning the terrorist attack in London.

I'm upset like everyone else, but glad it is getting the appropriate media attention.


So glad the war the US has waged hasn't caused any problems for THEIR homeland security.


Hate only breeds more hate.

:-(

LMK

Bad Bloggista Bad!

So I feel bad that I haven't been posting lately, and when I do that it's about things outside myself and not personal story's and all that.

I find myself boring. I love reading stories about other people and their lives, but find mind to pale in comparison. So here is an update on my life...


Still living in Toronto with my boyfriend in his cramped apartment with a roomate (who i think will kill me in my sleep if I dont leave soon). Things with the BF are going really well, we haven't had this much time together intensly for over a year now if not 2 and we get along smashingly. I had started to worry that when we did get together that we would be so stuck in our own routines that we wouldn't be able to handle life together. But I got lucky, and we are fantastic.

I was part of a marketing research group yesterday, got to watch 6 new pilots.. There are some great new "Lost-like" drama's, and Chris Rock has a new show that is coming out that might not suck, otherwise we are all shot for next season!

So yea, you watch the shows, talk about your feelings on them, get fed and watered and get paid $75... Some people were obviously doing this to help supplement their welfare (one woman actually said she loved watching Jerry Springer HA!) and others just for fun. All in all? I like money. and $75 for 2 hours ain't bad!

I went to see "Mad Hot Ballroom" last night and I recommend it for EVERYONE!! Fantastic film, a documentary about the New York Public School System and their fifth grade ballroom dancing competition. Anyone who likes kids and/or teaches will enjoy this film.. Made me wish I could dance..



In honor of a certain Pirate Lover I know, I found this and you get to rate me to figure out what kinda pirate I am...
So click on the pic and vote away!


Please?


Pretty Please?

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

It's coming down UPDATED

First of all let me say thanks to all of you that got into the debate in my last post. I love a good discussion, it's the biggest thing I miss from my University classes.

So much has happened over the weekend, quite frightening actually.

Sandra, Sandra, Sandra.... WHY??!!?!!?!?

I am scared. There is now a real and present danger to women in the states getting access to legal, safe abortions. I fear for their lives.

Do the conservatives not understand that? That a woman with no other choice will try it herself and probably kill herself in the process? Why isn't that part of their pro-life protest?

Sandra Day O'Connor was our last strong hold. Were all screwed...


My Banner used to read "A Feminist Living in a Pre-Gilead Age" I might have to cut out the "pre" part.

Those of you not familiar with The Handmaid's Tale read here

Then buy the book and educate yourself. Margaret Atwood wrote the book to mirror the Taliban rule in Afghanistan, to show how it would look were it to happen in America.



I think the major problem with abortion is that those who are pro-choice are not vocal enough about it. Hate is vogue, and those that go against it are bashed.

Try going against it.

Wear a pin, a patch on your backpack, a bumper sticker (even just the magnet kind!)

Be vocal.


Rise up.


Thanks Man in Georgia..



Updated Just For Fun

IF MEN GOT PREGNANT...

Maternity leave would last for two years...with full pay.
There'd be a cure for stretch marks
Natural childbirth would become obsolete
Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health problem
All methods of birth control would be improved 100 percent effectiveness
Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained
Men would be EAGER to talk about commitment
They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute
Fathers would demand thaqt their SONS be home from dates by 10:00pm
Men could use THEIR briefcases as diaper bags
They'd have to stop saying,"I'm afraid I'll drop him."
Paternity suits would be a line of clothes
They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months
Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree
Women would rule the world!