Friday, August 19, 2005
Starship Troopers, Anti-Vagina
For some reason Starship Troopers and Showgirls were on tv within days of each other. They have inspired a couple of posts, the first, on Starship Troopers. Both films are by the worst director on earth who enjoys creating softcore and just convinces serious actors to get involved. Want a list of his works? click here
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For those of you that have seen "Starship Troopers", please know that I don't think for a second that the film takes itself seriously, because if it does then thats reallllllly funny...

Moving on.

The basic premise of the film is that it is the future and all nations of the world are taken over and made English speaking and seem very American.
They are being attacked by "bugs" that look like huge spider/cricket type thingys. Their response is to come to their planets and blow the living crap out of them. Nudity and rampant killing, good times for all. Until they find "the brain". The brain is for lack of a better word a huge walking vagina.
With lots of eyes and spikey things and goo coming off it.
In order to bring peace and unity the big the vagina is brought back to earth and tied down. It is then stabbed and.... you got it, probed. With a big spikey metal thingy with scissor like arms. They don't just insert this probe into the brain/vagina, they stab it in violently, leading the mock newscast to cover the scene as "obscene".
So with the vagina tamed, the soldiers are able to go in and kill the bugs with greater ease.

Oh joy.
Paul Verhoeven (the director of this film and other masterpieces like "showgirls”) must REALLY hate women...

The actual women with vagina’s in the film follow a specific pattern in his film. One is promiscuous and the other is longing for the “leading man” and dies.

In starship troopers, “Rico” has his pick of two women. One (played by Denise Richards and Dina Meyer) Dizzy (dina) who loves him unconditionally and just hopes for that one chance, she is also got red curly hair, and isn’t afraid of her sexuality. Rico doesn’t want her not matter how much she throws it at him, instead he wants Carmen (Denise) the brown straight haired girl with Michael Jackson’s nose. They all decide to join the army, Rico and Dizzy join the mobile infantry (Rico because he is an idiot and Dizzy, well we are led to believe she follows him when she gets herself transferred to his platoon). Carmen instead gets to go for pilot training with another man, who she flirts with incessantly.

So in the heat of going to the native planet of the bugs and killing them before they kill humans (remind you of anyone?), Dizzy finally gets her wish and Rico has his way with her. Then of course, she dies happy because she may not have had Rico’s heart, but at least she had his penis.. for a minute or so. Meanwhile Carmen has hooked up with her pilot boyfriend, and of course he dies, by having his brains sucked out by the giant vagina. This leaves Carmen and Rico to hook up again and live happily ever after.

Also in Verhoeven’s fantasy future world? Co-ed showers. Boobs galore. Not unlike Showgirls, which I will post about next..

Would you like to see a picture of the brain/vagina? click here.


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