Too Posh to Push, *Expounded*

I wrote this post a few months ago after reading a very enlightening article in Bitch magazine. Brittany Spears' recent latest weekend at the spa, I mean birth inspired me to finally post it.. I know it's long, but be nice to me and read it if you are up for some good debate...

Enjoy!

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"Rebecca Eckler would like you to know that she does not have a vagina"- Andi Zeiler (Bitch issue No. 28)

Apparently there is a new wave of mothers that refuse to go through a vaginal delivery. They prefer to schedule their delivery around their life, some are doing it early into the 8th month so as to prevent that last little bit of weight gain. These women claim that "C-section babies come out looking prettier", they find modified Atkins Diets during their pregnancy and do not want to fathom the effect having a child will have on their vagina.

Rebecca Eckler wrote a book concerning these issues titled "Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother-to-be" in which she spends "350 pages worrying about whether her ass will get fat" and discussing all issues surrounding the changes her body was going through She also never calls her vagina a vagina and instead uses thinly veiled euphemisms. It is not wonder that since she can't talk about her vagina that she can't imagine her baby coming out of it.

If you are so concerned about your ass getting fat or how you can stay on Atkins, don't have a kid. Motherhood begins at pregnancy, your body will go through hell and so will your mind. An elective c-section will be the last appointment you will keep exactly on time.

It seems our appearance obsessed society does not excuse the gestational from body expectations. We expect celebrities to lose weight 10 times as fast as they gained it, and to gain very little weight while they are pregnant. Babies birth weight (amongst this group) are dropping drastically because women aren't allowing themselves to gain.

It's difficult for me to juxtapose my feelings about pregnancy and my feelings about abortion. I do believe that a woman has every right to do what she wants with her body, and that includes terminating her pregnancy. If a woman makes a decision to keep her baby, then the babies health is of utmost importance, and I think that makes an even greater case for not forcing women who don't want to carry their babies do it, because the sacrifices they will make (not only for the nine months of pregnancy but the rest of their lives).

Do women have the right to decide when to give birth, and decide how they want to give birth be it through c-section or vaginally? Of course. But women that aren't maintaining a healthy diet and giving birth unnaturally (i.e. through c-section well before the baby is due) are the ones that scare me. We should also be able to let go of a few insane cultural ideals, like the idea that a woman should be back in a pre-pregnancy weight within 3 weeks after they deliver (especially when those women already had unrealistic bodies to begin with!)

I'm not saying that a woman can't be a good mother unless she goes to every baseball game, makes every Halloween costume from scratch and is home when her kids get home from school with cookies warm from the oven. I just think that certain things like the baby's health should take precedence over the size of your ass.

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This is the end of my original post but after a nice heated (but fun) discussion with my twin and my mother (an OBGYN nurse of 10 years) I'm starting to see just how complex this debate is, and I find it really interesting. There are several different aspects of this debate to consider, previously I had only discussed the women that had elective deliveries early in their pregnancy and refused to gain weight. The other women out there that just really don't want to go through the ordeal but have been otherwise healthy (and waiting until close as possible to the delivery date) and they are the ones that are causing a true debate.

Class -
Giving birth is messy to say the least. Aside for the amount of fluid you release, there is also the physical exertion which means for tonnes of sweating screaming and the obvious discomfort. The term "too posh to push" was coined after "Posh Spice" had an elective c-section in a private hospital. She had to foot a pretty hefty bill in order to make it happen and it was seen as just another sign that she was part of the elite. When this happened it was seen as her way of avoiding all the mess and work associated with natural birth. Not all women can afford an elective c-section as some insurance companies won't cover it and women with no insurance are looking at a longer stay in the hospital and a much more expensive delivery (vs. a vaginal one which requires less recovery time).

So it's pretty safe to say that on the whole elective (and remember that by elective we are discussing women who CAN give birth but choose instead to have a c-section) idea is only available to women with better health insurance/more money, at least in the US and countries where elective sections are not being covered by national health care. This is not to say that because of this they should be deprived of it, but this is definitely not an option afforded to all women.

Choice/Feminist Rights- It's your body and your baby, so why shouldn't you have the choice to have you baby delivered safely in the manner you choose? Why is there this stigma that says in order to love your child, you have to go through pain? Will we eventually move towards a mentality where giving birth vaginally will be seen as archaic? Currently a woman has a 1 in 4 chance of dying during a c-section, and many other complications can occur like excessive bleeding that can result in an emergency hysterectomy. If this becomes safer then maybe it could become the trend of the future?

On the other hand, women that are choosing to have a section are being stigmatized, and treated as if they are not "Real mothers" because they weren't willing to suffer, or sacrifice. I think the nine months of carrying the baby is sacrifice and suffering enough, and a woman that had a healthy pregnancy isn't less of a mother because she doesn't want to push.

And what about adoptive mothers? Under the same argument are adoptive mother's not true mother's because they didn't suffer?

Aesthetic- obviously there is a certain level of aesthetic involved in the giving birth. There is none. It's damn ugly and can leave your vagina not so pretty either. Some are claiming (and I agree with this) that the youth obsessed culture dictates this idea that a woman should have a virginal vagina until the day she dies. Other women feel that no matter how many kegels you do sex will never be the same after giving birth, and don't want to deal with that. I'm wondering how much sex they think they are gonna get to have with a baby keeping them up all night (JK).

Women in their 50's that decided to give birth are now being presented with a new option "vaginal rejuvenation surgery". When I think of that all I can picture is women in Africa and the genital mutilation that goes on, then you come to America and women are willing to pay to have theirs mutilated.

The Bottom Line for me is that the idea of pregnancy and childbrith right now seems incredibly firghtening and telling me that I could have a surgery instead of labor, doesn't sound so bad. It is my body and my choice to give birth how I chose, be it at home, in water or with a section. So long as the woman is carrying to term and eating enough to keep both her and her baby healthy, then it's their business.