Million Dollar Baby

I love my boyfriend. The one thing I love the most is that we RARELY fight. I think a lot of that has to do with the long distance, you don't want to get too angry because it's harder to make up over the phone, harder to tell if a person is better. So you avoid the fights, ignore the little things. Get over it faster.

Last night we had a fight, and by our standards, a big one. I won't go into details, I don't think that would be fair to him (he reads this and comments sometimes) but lets just say it got ugly. The gloves almost came off, we almost said a few things we would regret. Its interesting how much boxing terminology gets in when you talk about relationship fights....

You both get into the ring, gloves on, the full garb, as this is full contact. You yield your hurt ego like a pair of arms swinging, constantly moving and jockeying your position in the ring, throwing punches until something you say sticks....stings.... You get a small, sick sense of satisfaction when you render your adversary speechless, when something you say makes them think. Just like in boxing you can't hit to hard, you don't want to kill, you want to end the fight permanently, but you still want them (and your relationship) to live to fight another day.

Unlike boxing there is never a clear winner in relationship fights, no referee telling you when you hit under the belt.

Then there is the issue of the apology, one of you has to if you are going to get past it, but the one to do it first is automatically the loser. So maybe you master the art of the half apology.

So then you say your apologies, and then comes the cooling off period, the time when you lick your wounds.

I'm still there... hiding in the corner, licking my wounds. We talk on the phone, but its distant, small talk. It will take some time before things get back to normal. But I guess thats part of the cycle of relationships sometimes..


-L