thanks to everyone and their fabulous comments, you all know how to make a girl feel special. while my blog day was exciting and fun my day was incredibly regular. Including a high school concert choral concert...
Tonight I suffered through the holiday choral concert at my brothers school. That shit is the best birth control ever.
If kids means high school plays and concerts, it ain't happenin!
The worst part was honestly the solos. And the gospel singing. What on earth possesses the white middle class schools in the suburbs to insist on singing medleys from "sister act II" and call it gospel?!?!?
First up on the list of horrors was "Rocking around the Christmas Tree" sung by a girl who studied in the Christina Aguilera school of singing.. Tons of warbling and no power.
Why is it that all the girls that sang solo's seemed to have spent more time on posing and less on the actual singing?!?!
Then of course they had to bring out the one Mexican kid to sing "feliz navidad" but he couldn't just sing in Spanish he had to sing with sombrero and poncho on.
Now this is where things got especially whorey. A 16 year old girl walked out in a jean miniskirt and high heels to sing "Santa baby". She pranced around the stage tickling under the old men's chins and to top it off she perched off the end of the stage and performed her audition for the remake of "basic instinct".
Now my mother and I had not been drinking but you would think so considering we were the only ones laughing our asses off for the whole thing. My mother made that mistake one year when she laughed uncontrollably during a solo performance of John Denver's "Country Roads"
with the girls mother right next to her.
I'm hoping the Christmas concert season is over.
Please?
Tonight I suffered through the holiday choral concert at my brothers school. That shit is the best birth control ever.
If kids means high school plays and concerts, it ain't happenin!
The worst part was honestly the solos. And the gospel singing. What on earth possesses the white middle class schools in the suburbs to insist on singing medleys from "sister act II" and call it gospel?!?!?
First up on the list of horrors was "Rocking around the Christmas Tree" sung by a girl who studied in the Christina Aguilera school of singing.. Tons of warbling and no power.
Why is it that all the girls that sang solo's seemed to have spent more time on posing and less on the actual singing?!?!
Then of course they had to bring out the one Mexican kid to sing "feliz navidad" but he couldn't just sing in Spanish he had to sing with sombrero and poncho on.
Now this is where things got especially whorey. A 16 year old girl walked out in a jean miniskirt and high heels to sing "Santa baby". She pranced around the stage tickling under the old men's chins and to top it off she perched off the end of the stage and performed her audition for the remake of "basic instinct".
Now my mother and I had not been drinking but you would think so considering we were the only ones laughing our asses off for the whole thing. My mother made that mistake one year when she laughed uncontrollably during a solo performance of John Denver's "Country Roads"
with the girls mother right next to her.
I'm hoping the Christmas concert season is over.
Please?
14 Comments:
Sixteen is the age of consent in Nevada.
What? I'm just quoting the law.
why am i not surprised you know that todd?
oh ht, it was brutal... my mother and i were laughing our asses off.. Why was it that every girl solo had to sexy? (well, make an awful attempt at being)but the boy solos were funny as hell?
I mean neither could sing so what did it matter?
Those shows are a great foundation for our future entertainment talent. And 16 is the age of consent in the UK too.
I love the good ol' US of A. They talk abstinence and prayer and then overtly sexualise the mid teens and call it entertainment. I call it schizophrenic.
And happy birthday for yesterday!
Luckily, every one of my voice students who is singing a solo in their respective school concerts is extremely talented. None wear sombreros, nor do they dress like skanks. Each has stage presence, power and control.
I still don't go to choir concerts because it's rather like having root canal done without novacaine. I do have to go sit through all of their musicals, but most of them are rather good, although, high school theatre at it's best is still painful. I have no choice but to put in an appearance... my kids always play leads, and their parents pay me a small fortune to make sure they get that lead. It's a necessary evil I guess.
Chris, that was a bit harsh. I believe Miss Knit was laughing not at the lack of talent, but the lack of sincerity.
How is mimicking a slut on stage talent? And where are the parents? Embarrassing or not, I wouldn't have allowed my daughter to do that.
To quote Bernie Mac, when told my his niece that "Everyone else at school is doing it," said, "Good, then you'll be the only one at school who's not pregnant."
Having raised two girls, I've been through a thousand of those. Time just slows to a crawl as you wait for the sweet release of death.
Every time I go the the chidren's dept at the local department store, I find myself saying, "I'm so glad I have a son." They have slutty clothes for TODDLERS.
As far as your concert goes, it reminds me of a comment Norm MacDonald made on the SNL weekend update when the new Kenny G Christmas CD came out: "Happy Birthday, Jesus. I hope you like crap."
That's a great story. I would really like to have a whorey Christmas without going to any concerts! BUT, guess what, my 11 year old has a choir performance Sunday, damn it. Kids ruin everything! he he
holy crap, i used to sing solos at my choir concerts..i wonder if i sucked too! i need to find someone from my highschool to show me those tapes...
I suppose I should clarify.. "laughing out asses off" = "giggling quietly and inaudibly unless appropriate"
Lilred no matter how great you sounded, any records will probably sound like crap because of the quality of the microphone and recording equipment.
Last nights concert was lacking in a lot of things including appropriate lighting and sound. It was also badly choreographed and arranged.
Choral concerts are inherently bad because getting kids to sing songs that aren't pop is impossible, so they end up singing badly arranged 4 part harmonys that just end up sounding awful.
The entire thing, including the token spanish song and hannukah song were contrived and at times disgusting.
I think everyone who read me regularly knows how I was seething through the slutty peformances and I spared them the feminist rhetoric on how evil it was.
Since everyone else has already used logic and reason, I'm going to go with vulgar and angry.
Fuck what you think Chris. Crybaby.
Hi Pussy,
I'm heer to tell ya I ernt gonna eat you. Munky said you and him er gonna eat the bugs at our blob site.
Nice to make the akwantince,
Clete
Fritz says: "Thank God I got out of High School Chorus with all my clothes on."
Sorry I missed the big Birthday, Miss Knit.
So: Happy Late Birthday.
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