Dear Prospective Landlords,

I know that TFG and I do not seem promising and that our application looks a little sparse, but if you could give me a second, I can explain why we would make good tenant.

The whole no-job = no-money thing
Now, lets start with the whole lack of income thing. I am a student and I only have 3 months left where I will working very hard for no pay. After that, I will find a job doing something and we are offering to pay 4 months in advance to show we have financial backing, so really that should cover it, right? TFG will be getting a job ASAP, but it is terribly difficult to get a job when you can't put a local address on the application (see the terrible cycle we are in?) and right now he is spending all his time looking for a place to live!


The whole no-references-you-could-be-serial-killers-thing
First of all, let me assure you that we are not serial killers. We do have references, but they are from Australia and they would have nothing but glowing words to say about us. Now I know that calling Australia would drive up your phone bill and figuring out that pesky time difference is extra work over the other tenants who have never left Toronto but I believe we are worth it.


Rent to us, we are adorable. We are quiet, don't fight and don't cook too many stinky things (I do enjoy onions). I know that at 4 pm we were "at the top of the list" and that other people might come in and apply with shiny local references and jobs, but we can promise:

• We will never cook meth
• We will bake cookies at Christmas
  
• We will not spray paint the walls
• We will not throw rowdy parties
• I will knit you something pretty
• We will keep the kitchen impeccably clean
• We won't play heavy metal music
  

So please Mr.Landlord, I just can't stand another day of searching for listings and TFG can't look at one more stinky, awful place.

Sincerely,
Knitty Kitty

check out my other letter, to TFG below!