**Disclaimer: Those of you that read this and know my or TFG's family, and or read our co-blog, you are to never mention the camping trip! Thank you. **
When we arrived here a few weeks ago and began taking in the local color, TFG and I noticed that the Aussies we were meeting were very outgoing/adventurous and would invite people places while barely knowing them.
We got invited to go "camping" with a very outgoing group of Aussies. We were told to bring just sleeping bags and food, and that the rest was taken care of. The man who had invited us (who we shall call "Spazz" from here on out) said he had a camper and several tents and we would all be comfortable.
He asked us to be ready by 3pm on Friday, and that he would pick us up in the camper and take us grocery shopping and to the bottle shop for booze. By 4:30 he finally calls and lets us know he is on his way. We have been sitting patiently in our apartment watching the dark rain clouds roll in for an hour and a half and are getting nervous. When Spazz arrived we decided to embrace the spirit of adventure and just go, how bad could it really be?
We start driving through town and TFG and I realize from our couch-like, elevated seats in the back of the camper, that Spazz is driving it like he would drive his taxi. Like an asshole.
We get to the end of town to meet the other people that we will be camping with and they all look normal and unlikely to sacrifice us in a pagan ceremony. In hindsight that would have at least been more interesting. After meeting everyone at their work, we drive out all over town picking up various items and leaving cars at people's homes until we are all set to get the hell out of town.
And it starts to rain.
With TFG secured in the front of the van and me in the back with three other women I barely know, we are off. With a few stops along the way.
First stop was to the bottle shop, because whats a camping trip without disgusting amounts of liquor? TFG and I get a case of beer, thinking we could trade it for food later with the other campers since at this point our chances of getting to a decent grocery store at 8pm is slightly sketchy.
Now up until this point, it had all been fun and games. Then SPAZZ decided that driving a standard, heavy camper van in the dark, in the rain just wasn't exciting enough and he needed to start drinking. While driving.
Our Canadian politeness knows no bounds and we said nothing, hoping that one drink would be the end of it.
Then we got to the grocery store.
At first Spazz couldn't find the grocery so the decided to drive the camper through the middle of a pedestrian mall to ask someone. He then decided to peel out of the mall at a rather rapid pace making a sharp turn and coming within 12 feet of a frail and stunned looking old woman. Lucky for me, I was in the back, unable to see the delight in Spazz's face at the poor woman's shock and horror.
At the grocery TFG and I decided that this might very well be our last meal, and blew any diet we may have been kidding ourselves that we were on. Chips, Red Bull and Tim-Tams (more on those later) were purchased and they were delicious.
After stopping at the grocery so that Spazz could eat one kilo of pasta salad and have one more drink.
When we finally got the so-called camp site (which was actually some co-worker's property) the night began to deteriorate. The other campers had been there for an hour and a half and still had no tents set up and the rain was coming down hard. So we sat in the camper as it slowly filled with mozzies and drank vodka and soda based beverages and beer that had been chilling in the sink filled with ice and a leaking bottle of jungle strength bug ointment. Tasty!!
After sitting in the camper for two hours and one failed attempt at peeing in the woods, a decision had been made and we were leaving the campground to go into town, supposedly to find a Hostel to spend the night.
The hilly road to the beach was well navigated by TFG and Spazz behind the wheel (with 2 drinks under his belt) and we found a beach with the least sand in all of Australia and the worst lighting. The rain was still coming down and the 4 other people we had gone with decided it was time to drink and settle in for the night. When TFG and I addressed the lack of places to sleep and the massive "no camping sign" right under the camper, we were told that "oh the police never come by here, there won't be any problems!"
The camper was quite small and the front seats didn't recline. Comfortably about 2 people could sleep. Uncomfortably maybe 3. The other two would be stuck out in the rain in a tent under a no camping sign.
When we explained the whole "fear of camping and getting a fine" thing, Spazz thought it would be a fine idea to put up the tents and just put all our belongings (cameras, clothes and such) in the tents and thereby having enough room in the camper for our bodies. That way when we passed out from all the liquor we wouldn't hear the tents being robbed.
It was now midnight so TFG and I decided it was time to get out of there and attempted to call a cab....
Part 2 to come soon...
When we arrived here a few weeks ago and began taking in the local color, TFG and I noticed that the Aussies we were meeting were very outgoing/adventurous and would invite people places while barely knowing them.
We got invited to go "camping" with a very outgoing group of Aussies. We were told to bring just sleeping bags and food, and that the rest was taken care of. The man who had invited us (who we shall call "Spazz" from here on out) said he had a camper and several tents and we would all be comfortable.
He asked us to be ready by 3pm on Friday, and that he would pick us up in the camper and take us grocery shopping and to the bottle shop for booze. By 4:30 he finally calls and lets us know he is on his way. We have been sitting patiently in our apartment watching the dark rain clouds roll in for an hour and a half and are getting nervous. When Spazz arrived we decided to embrace the spirit of adventure and just go, how bad could it really be?
We start driving through town and TFG and I realize from our couch-like, elevated seats in the back of the camper, that Spazz is driving it like he would drive his taxi. Like an asshole.
We get to the end of town to meet the other people that we will be camping with and they all look normal and unlikely to sacrifice us in a pagan ceremony. In hindsight that would have at least been more interesting. After meeting everyone at their work, we drive out all over town picking up various items and leaving cars at people's homes until we are all set to get the hell out of town.
And it starts to rain.
With TFG secured in the front of the van and me in the back with three other women I barely know, we are off. With a few stops along the way.
First stop was to the bottle shop, because whats a camping trip without disgusting amounts of liquor? TFG and I get a case of beer, thinking we could trade it for food later with the other campers since at this point our chances of getting to a decent grocery store at 8pm is slightly sketchy.
Now up until this point, it had all been fun and games. Then SPAZZ decided that driving a standard, heavy camper van in the dark, in the rain just wasn't exciting enough and he needed to start drinking. While driving.
Our Canadian politeness knows no bounds and we said nothing, hoping that one drink would be the end of it.
Then we got to the grocery store.
At first Spazz couldn't find the grocery so the decided to drive the camper through the middle of a pedestrian mall to ask someone. He then decided to peel out of the mall at a rather rapid pace making a sharp turn and coming within 12 feet of a frail and stunned looking old woman. Lucky for me, I was in the back, unable to see the delight in Spazz's face at the poor woman's shock and horror.
At the grocery TFG and I decided that this might very well be our last meal, and blew any diet we may have been kidding ourselves that we were on. Chips, Red Bull and Tim-Tams (more on those later) were purchased and they were delicious.
After stopping at the grocery so that Spazz could eat one kilo of pasta salad and have one more drink.
When we finally got the so-called camp site (which was actually some co-worker's property) the night began to deteriorate. The other campers had been there for an hour and a half and still had no tents set up and the rain was coming down hard. So we sat in the camper as it slowly filled with mozzies and drank vodka and soda based beverages and beer that had been chilling in the sink filled with ice and a leaking bottle of jungle strength bug ointment. Tasty!!
After sitting in the camper for two hours and one failed attempt at peeing in the woods, a decision had been made and we were leaving the campground to go into town, supposedly to find a Hostel to spend the night.
The hilly road to the beach was well navigated by TFG and Spazz behind the wheel (with 2 drinks under his belt) and we found a beach with the least sand in all of Australia and the worst lighting. The rain was still coming down and the 4 other people we had gone with decided it was time to drink and settle in for the night. When TFG and I addressed the lack of places to sleep and the massive "no camping sign" right under the camper, we were told that "oh the police never come by here, there won't be any problems!"
The camper was quite small and the front seats didn't recline. Comfortably about 2 people could sleep. Uncomfortably maybe 3. The other two would be stuck out in the rain in a tent under a no camping sign.
When we explained the whole "fear of camping and getting a fine" thing, Spazz thought it would be a fine idea to put up the tents and just put all our belongings (cameras, clothes and such) in the tents and thereby having enough room in the camper for our bodies. That way when we passed out from all the liquor we wouldn't hear the tents being robbed.
It was now midnight so TFG and I decided it was time to get out of there and attempted to call a cab....
Part 2 to come soon...
3 Comments:
Is this story going to be dirty? As your adoptive mother, I don't want to read it if it turns dirty.
*big wide eyed stare* Oh My! I am guessing that part two will be even more exciting... and I am so glad that you made it home to tell the tale.
See? This just shows why I hate camping. My idea of camping is when room service is late.
Glad you're safe.
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