John!What the hell did you think would happen when you wrote your little "satire"? Did you think the ladies would fawn over you after you cited the rapes of Sabine and Lucretia? Did you think that by dropping names like Lucius Tarquinius Superbius and adopting the style of Swift and his "Modest Proposal" that it would excuse you for your disgusting and deplorable rant?
Two years ago when I was a young co-ed I dealt with knuckle-dragging-mouth-breathers like you. When we served a cake shaped like a vagina to celebrate "V-day" the lovely newspaper editors published a picture with the caption "ooh, tastes like fish". We didn't take it too seriously, but it certainly tainted our attempt to bring awareness and mainstream discussion to an important cause.
John, are you being raped? Figuratively or literally? Was the editorial board giving you crap? Did you feel that the newspaper wasn't letting you print the hard hitting articles a University paper needs? If so, I am sorry but that does not excuse your inability to grasp the obvious. For this reason I think you need a bit of a refresher so here ya go:
1) Rape is never funny.
2) Rape is never ever funny.
3) No matter how many fancy words or ancient history you cite, rape is never funny.
4) "Ugly chicks need love too, but they gotta get raped" is never ever funny.
5) You are not funny.
6) You are not "a bold satirist whose message fell on deaf ears" you are just an asshole.
Fuck you very much,
Knitty Kitty
Labels: Assholes, University Newspapers
