Thursday, June 30, 2005
1 woman 1 baby... 6 men, whose the father?!?!
I'm flipping channels this morning (because I'm a bum with no job) and I see "Maury"... I am very confused. Why on earth would a woman want to go to Maury to figure out which of 6 possible men are the father of their baby? Simple math should be able to eliminate a few of them right? (please god?!?)

Even bigger quesiton is, why do people want to watch a woman dealing with these issues? The scene plays out like this

2 men come out (4 have already been tested) talking about how they don't they are the father because:

a) They only had sex once!

b) The baby looks nothing like me!

c) I have 7 kids and they are all boys, and this is a girl, I don't make girls!

Then the test results... neither man is the father. The mother crumbles in a pathetic pile of embarrasment all over the stage, sobbing. She has tested 6 men, none of which are the father.

What are the men doing?

Dancing. high-fiving. They are excited. This is cause for celebration. They then realize the mother is sobbing, and pretend to comfort her.

This 3 minute scene is really a sad and desperate cry for television and society as a whole.

First of all, is Maury ever on after 3 pm? Who is watching tv before 3 on a weekday? Stay at home moms, people without jobs, and retired people.


So I actually want to have a discussion about this, so come back and post often... I think the people that comment here are intelligent and educated, so help me out...

Why are we compelled to watch "who's my baby daddy" shows?

What is so appealing about these people?


For an idea of what I'm talking about see here

Click on "inside Maury"
Watch Thusday's "Daily Clips" (it should just pop up...)

Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Yea Canada!!
Watched the vote on TV, was kinda dissapointed, I had hoped for balloons to drop from the ceiling or glitter like on American Idol. Made the BF take a walk with me down to Church Street (aka Liberty Avenue on QAF) to celebrate, much honking of horns and general merriment. Nothing too exciting since Ontario has recognized gay marriage for close to 2 years now.

Went to Ikea today, got some kick ass capuccino mugs to go with our 5 dollar capuccino maker!

Been wondering how to make myself a pretty banner like everyone elses.. I'm guess its just a the matter to making an image to my liking and then uploading it... Its too hot for something that complicated..

The BF and I sit parallel to each other on different computers, typing away... silent... sometimes its nice to just be near eachother, not freaking out that I will run away again really soon.

Nothing ground breaking today... enjoy some Magical Trevor...

Tuesday, June 28, 2005
for WTF file # 23333345
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So, Amy Spencer thinks she knows all there is to know about single ladies....
she can bite me

In reaction to this piece of garbage my twin and I have written our own list....

a photo of yourself photoshopped for posterity...

You know that fantastic picture you took of yourself and then screwed with on the computer so your butt will look higher, your teeth whiter, your boobs bigger and your tummy flatter? Remember how you slimmed out your thighs and erased that hair frizz?
Take that picture and set it as your lavalife photo, carry it in your wallet and use it as your calling card for dates! Men don't care what you really look like, the lights will be turned off anyways right?

And hey when you are 80 wouldn't it be nice to look back on the person you wish you had been instead of the person you actually were? Just think, with memory loss, you might actually think its you!

A pair of Come-Fuck-me-Boots
Every woman needs a pair of shoes that says "hey baby, I'm a big walking vagina!" and nothing does that like a pair of 7 inch heels. Who cares about the irreversible damage your are doing to the bone structure in your feet, or your early onset arthritis you could be causing, cause ladies, no ones likes to screw a shortie!

A Barry White Album...

Nothing says "panty remover" like a Barry White album. Keeping that in your collection will let him know, that while you may listen to "chick music" you still like to get laid...

A great pick up line...
Every woman has one, the way to a man's heart.... the pick up line! You need something that will make him realize if he comes home with you, he will be getting some and fast! But with all this
'tang running around you need one that will make you stand out, and let him know you aren't just going to screw his brains out, but treat him like a king.. Try this one on for size:

"Do you prefer a French Maid or a Nurse? I just want to know which one to wear when I bring you your coffee in the morning.."

A way to blow him off....

Sweetie lets face it, your eggs ain't getting any younger, don't kid yourselve into thinking you can turn someone down!


Getting him Drunk can't hurt!!

Bathroom Reading..

Let him know you are a man's man and aren't afraid to let him look around a little. Leave a stack of Maxim and Playboy so he can have some five-finger-fun-time before getting to the main event!

A business card...
See (1) add your phone number, email, cell, address, and your website to the back so he can be sure to get ahold of you...

A Straight Male Friend...

Every woman needs one. Someone to open that jar of pickles you don't want to wreak your nails on, or to fix you plumbing... We all need a good Straight guy to help us put up our curtain rod, or build our latest Ikea purchase... Heaven forbid we do it ourselves!

Breast Implants...

No single girl can go without! The last thing you want is for your man too see the effects of gravity, I mean he is still perky, why aren't you?

Remember: Breast implants. How they feel to him is more important than how they feel (and function) to you! (Kudos to Nuclear Beaver!)

If you have any more ideas let me know and I will add it in..

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Monday, June 27, 2005
Gotta Love the Patio
I love eating at on a patio, seeing people walk by, everyone seems so much more relaxed when eating outside.

At the table next to us (my bf and I) was a very nice man and some people that worked at the restaurant. Soon another man arrived with a baby, and the first man asked if the baby had any sunscreen and they both started to take care of the baby like fathers. I could immediately tell they were the dads.

I love doing that, seeing little pieces of a life and putting together the pieces. I got to talking with one of the dads after a while, about life and babies. He said that he became much more creative after he became a mother, and cautioned me about getting married:

Him: "Everything was fine, then we got married and had a baby, all of the sudden we got crabby, are you two married?"

(Read simultaneously)
BF: No
Me: Not yet.

I wonder what the nice man with the baby thought of us, what he took from that statement to try and figure out OUR story. It got me thinking.

It's funny how the smallest interaction can affect your day....

will this be me?

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or this?

Ah the Cottage...
*Disclaimer* I love my boyfriend... And his family, and I appreciate that he takes me to his cottage and drives me in his car (I don't have a car), so when I talk about this it is lighthearted, not meant to be taken very seriously..... His family is DAMN funny, and I can't help but share it with all of you....

That being said..

Crazy Cottage Weekend!!!
First lets start with the actual departure..

Friday Afternoon

My boyfriend had warned me that the A/C was no longer working but the thought hadn't really sunk in.

It was gross. I was gross, and when I get gross, I get pissy. We are driving on a packed highway, it is a GAZILLION degrees, and I'm wearing a padded bra.

Say it with me... ick.

So we are driving down the bumper to bumper high way at 2pm (why is it packed at 2 pm? to piss me off) and I managed to throw on my bikini top and save my dignity (read: without showing my breasteses to the nearby truckers).

But I'm still hot. It's too hot to think. It's too breath.

We stop at a book store. My boyfriend tries to touch me and I snap at him. Why? because I feel gross.

I get to the bathroom and my bikini top is sticking to me, and I have that awful line of sweat coming down my butt. No fun. After walking around the bookstore long enough to feel human, we drove to his sisters place.. Just to visit..

We spent the night there... It was great.

I had and amazing time with his sister (and not just because she had air conditioning) , I feel like we really connect.. I've never had a sister, and nor has she.. It was fun.. had dinner, drank loads of wine, played cards, watch Scrubs. Great night.

Saturday Morning
We got out of the house pretty early and made great time to the cottage. The weather was amazing. Loads of fun, relaxed on the beach, took a long walk into town...

Kicked my boyfriends ass at air hockey, and enjoyed walking around checking out the beach trash....

Then it was dinner time....

Now if any of you come from a family that believed in "Cookin With Campbells" you might find this next little part offensive...

For dinner my boyfriend's mum cooked. She always cooks, never assumes we can fend ourselves. I think she knows we can but it is so much more stressful for her to watch other people in her kitchen.

BF's mum believes in the Cambpells method of cooking. ick.. It goes like so..

Take one package of frozen chicken breasts.
Take one can of "Cream of Mushroom Soup" double ick
Take some sour cream, taragon and other ancient spices,
Whip it all together in a roasting pan
Cook until a wierd pale grey color

My boyfriend loves it.

He understands I WILL NEVER MAKE IT and if he makes it for me I won't eat it.. and loves me anyway.

Sunday Morning
One of the BF's younger brother's friends comes down from the attic bedroom and is frantic.

He brought home some sluts.

Fat Sluts.

He wants them to get out of the house without anyone (Read "adults") seeing them.


And for the record, they weren't that fat, but why he had two we weren't sure. They were just larger punk rock girls with very short skirts on trying to shimmy down a ladder to get down from the attic, never a good angle for anyone!

Spent most of Sunday on the beach working the tan I swore I wouldn't have this year.

Came back to Toronto in the dark, cool(er) night.

Great weekend.


Friday, June 24, 2005
Gone to the Cottage
I'm off to the cottage, be back monday morning, rock it out and comment away...

Tom Cruise has officially pissed me off

Watch the video to witness the spewing molton hot crazy... aka verbal diarrhea....

-Peace out

Thursday, June 23, 2005
I have been touched by his noodly appendage
I am so ordering a t-shirt.

I would love to teach about the spagetti monster in the middle schools.

read the whole thing

Let me know what you thought.

Kudos to nick for showing me the light...


Reading the Paper Again..
So a few posts ago I talked about Dr. Morgentaler and about some of the backlash... I found this letter to the editor from the Toronto Star (still an evil paper!)

I am appalled that the University of Western Ontario has given abortionist Dr. Henry Morgentaler an honorary doctorate. Morgentaler was the pioneer of legalized abortion in Canada. For the past several years, he has advocated abortion as a means of removing unwanted children from our midst. He might more aptly be called Dr. Death.
While the term "choice" may sound democratic, the person who opts for abortion is neglecting to consider the fundamental right to life of the mother's unborn fetus. To claim the right to abortion and to recognize that right in law, means to attribute to human freedom a perverse and evil significance — that of an absolute power over others and against others. This is the death of true freedom.

Today, in many people's consciences, the perception of the gravity of abortion has become progressively obscured. The acceptance of abortion in the popular mind, in behaviour and even in law itself, is a telling sign of an extremely dangerous crisis of the moral sense, which is becoming more and more incapable of distinguishing between good and evil, even when the fundamental right to life is at stake. Given such a grave situation, we need now more than ever to have the courage to look the truth in the eye and to call things by their proper name, without yielding to convenient compromises or to the temptation of self-deception.

In honouring Morgentaler, the university has done irreparable harm to its reputation. I encourage all those thinking of attending the school in the future as well as those presently affiliated with the university in various capacities, to seek out an alternative place of employment and learning — one that does not promote and glorify the culture of death.

Paul Kokoski, Hamilton

Why thank you Paul!!! I had no idea that I graduated from an organization that promoted the culture of death! I was under the impression I was at one of the best educational facilities in the Province!

Excuse me while I go burn my diploma in effigy.

Honestly though, if a University cannot feel comfortable to allow great minds to grow and discuss their ideas not matter how controversial then we will never have any more progress!


Got my life back!
So between shopping trips to H&M (soo much fun!) and drinking and lunch dates, life is pretty good. I'm finally getting out of the house, walking around a vibrant fun city.

And its Pride Week. I love Pride Week. So much fun, its always been a huge deal in Toronto, my mum always though it was the best parade, better than the christmas one! Wouldn't it be amazing if we could get gay marriage passed during Pride Week? There is some noise about our Parliment extending before the summer break to get the issue to the floor.

So I will get back to my uber-feminist self very soon and I will be bringing you the latest news... I have a few articles up my sleeve..


Monday, June 20, 2005
A visit with my Nona
I spent the day with my Nona today, got to see her frail, new post-stroke form. She seemed smaller, like a shell. Her neighbourhood (a tough collection of used auto parts and strip joints) seems scary now, and I don't want her to leave her house. We took her to her bank where all her ladies knew her. They had been worried. I watched her take 2 minutes to sign her name and I wanted to cry.

You can tell by her face that she has had a stroke, in the car she couldn't remember the words to tell me that she was having trouble remembering her words. I hated the irony.

We helped her take care of her garden, her tomatoes and beans and carrots. I looked and touched the garage my Nono built for his family to park their car. The same garage he killed himself in when my mother was only 12. In the family car where my mother found him, she thought he was sleeping.

I wanted to drag her out of that house and take her home with me. To California, where she could have an amazing garden and be safe and we could take care of her.

I don't trust my Aunt's to do a good job, and my mother doesn't either. She worries that they are all too wrapped up in their young kids or just their own lives to really give her the care she deserves. My Aunt with the smallest house and they youngest kids has been given that burden, because she is the only one in the country that treats my Nona with love.

I feel sorry for my Aunt, watching her mother revert to a child-like state, and in turn have to revert herself. Now she has another child, a child that will judge her if she catches her smoking, or comment on her parenting, or tell her she is making a bad tomato sauce.

It's a cycle. We just run through the maze, and end up right back where we started.



Sunday, June 19, 2005
So my shuttle came to pick up at 3:30 saturday morning... I woke up exactly 3:30 saturday morning.. because my shuttle driver was banging on the door... so while he packed my things into the van, I got dressed...

Lets just say I looked *extra* sexy when I arrived.. J was impressed, at least I had made it!

We went straight to the cottage for the night and chilled with his parents and tried to have incredibly quiet squeaky-mattress-and-your-parents-are-in-the-other-room sex... not easy let me tell you..

I'm not in Toronto, looking at the full moon and the CN tower from the amazing view in his apartment.. Excited but apprehensive at our intensive month ahead after so much time doing the long distance thang...

Here goes nothin....


PS.. DIY on the T-shirt to come soon..

Friday, June 17, 2005
Running Away...
After a fun fun time in California I'm running north for the summer. There will be no blogging over the weekend, and the blogs will get a little sporatic (depending on internet acess). But I will keep posting on my new adventure!!

-Little Miss Fun/Knit/Teacher/Pretty/Sweet/Sexy/Silly/Feminist/.....

Being fun and Creative
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Cost of Shirt = $5.00

Cost of Print Sheet =$1.00

Being able to express myself... Priceless.

Thursday, June 16, 2005
Dr. Henry Morgentaler I Salute you.
While I appreciate my last post wasn't a big hit (maybe because of its length, maybe its dry content) I hope you will enjoy this a little more, and maybe generate more discussion. I'm sorry for the impersonal blogging lately, but I have been insanely busy between packing up for my flight on Sat and finishing up my work at the middle school.

This article from eye magazine was brought to my attention by my fabulous boyfriend. Dr. Henry Morgentaler is being honored this week by my Alma Matter, the University of Western Ontario. Dr. Morgentaler's honorary degree from UWO was a polarizing issue for London residents. Local Catholic boards were told to discourage their students from applying to the University, even though it has the leading Dental, Medical and Law school for the Province. They even convinced high school students to wear black armbands in protest.

In this editorial, a case from Texas is discussed that proves to me that we are getting closer and closer to losing reproductive rights everyday.

eye - 06.16.05
Abortion in the first degree

Henry Morgentaler, Canada's pioneering abortion doctor, was in the news last week, because his precedent-setting 1988 court case was cited in the controversial Supreme Court decision allowing private health insurance, and again because he's receiving an honorary degree from the University of Western Ontario in London.

This one-two punch neatly fits the impression most Canadians carry about the state of the abortion debate in Canada. The Supreme Court builds on the legal roads Morgentaler paved, while the academy celebrates his life over the small but noisy protest (a petition was signed; Catholic school students wore black arm bands) of the marginalized pro-life movement.

Meanwhile, in Texas, 19-year-old Gerardo Flores was convicted of two counts of capital murder and sentenced to at least 40 years in prison for helping his then-16-year-old girlfriend, Erica Basoria, terminate her pregnancy. He could have been sentenced to death, but his prosecutors didn't seek capital punishment.

How's that, then? Roe v. Wade hasn't been overturned, has it? Not yet, but while American conservatives wait for Dubya to stack the bench with pro-lifers so they can criminalize abortion, they've also been working to undermine safe, legal abortion in other ways.

They do this by limiting access to abortion, refusing public funding for it and harassing women who seek it out and medical professionals who perform it. In Texas, a minor needs consent from her parents to have an abortion, and the government only pays for it in cases of rape, incest or danger to a woman's life. Finally, lawmakers in Texas define human life as beginning at conception so that those who kill fetuses can be charged with murder (other states have similar laws). Of course, Roe v. Wade requires exemptions to this law, so women cannot be prosecuted for ending their own pregnancies, nor can medical professionals who perform abortions. Anyone else is fair game.

That's the law that applies in Flores' case. According to his and Basoria's testimony, they didn't want to have the twins she was carrying. At 20 weeks into her pregnancy, Basoria could still have had a legal abortion, but it would have had to be performed in a hospital, which is quite expensive. And her parents were against it.

So Flores, on several occasions over a one-week period, stepped on Basoria's belly while, the defence claims, she hit herself in an attempt to induce a miscarriage. They succeeded in terminating the pregnancy.

The case was complicated -- Basoria was hospitalized with bruises and prosecutors alleged that Flores was abusing her. But these elements are beside the point. Flores wasn't charged with beating his girlfriend; he was charged with murder. The prosecutor's language couldn't be more revealing of the Texas legal system's attitude toward the status of life in the womb: "Those babies could not raise their hands in self-defence to say, 'No, Daddy, no, Daddy!'" No one would ever get to see those boys' first steps or take their prom photos, he's further cited as saying in the Lufkin Daily News, the local paper. One wonders if his argument would apply any less to a hospital abortion.

The danger here is the buildup of legal precedent acknowledging that terminating a pregnancy is homicide. Even if, right now, women and their doctors are protected, what's to stop a crusading prosecutor from charging a Planned Parenthood counsellor with conspiring to commit murder? How large a leap is it then to say that the right of one (as yet unborn) citizen to live should trump Roe v. Wade's guarantees of another citizen's right to privacy? It's a slippery slope, and anti-abortion forces in the US government continue to grease it.

Gerardo Flores' case should be embraced as a cause célèbre by pro-choice activists around the world. Forty years in jail for ending a pregnancy at a woman's request -- admittedly in a foolish and dangerous way -- is an outrage.

But moreover, it should remind us here in Canada that, as Jefferson's well-worn aphorism has it, "the price of freedom is eternal vigilance." As eye reporter Nicole Cohen pointed out in a story last year ("Choice and access," City, Apr. 22, 2004), the freedom of choice we take for granted in cities today is already partly illusory and constantly threatened. Only 20 per cent of Canadian hospitals provide abortions; the three vast northern territories have only one hospital each that performs abortions; Prince Edward Island has no facilities providing abortions; and Manitoba, Nova Scotia and New Brunswick do not offer any funding for abortions performed in clinics. RU-486, the abortion pill, remains illegal.

There's a thriving and vocal pro-life movement in Canada. Like their friends in the US, they'll persist in their fight to limit -- and eventually eliminate -- access to safe, legal abortions. The 79 per cent of Canadians who believe abortion should remain a woman's choice must persist, too. While we're honouring the work of Dr. Henry Morgentaler, we need to take up his fight.

What has concerned pro-choicers of late is that it won't take one swift movement to destroy the rights we have worked so hard for but for many smaller ones to run all we hold sacred into the ground. Cases like these only prove that those without the legal and medically safe means will find other ways that can potentially kill the mother.


Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Just The Facts
While I know this goes against the Bloggista's code to write our own opinions and ideas, these are just facts, written by Anna Quindlen in an article called "Complex and contradictory" from Newsweek in January. Her biweekly last page articles are amazing, insightful and heartfelt.
I have taken nothing from this article out, I hope you enjoy...


Jan. 24 issue - There is now only a single abortion clinic in Mississippi. Once there were seven. There are nearly 3 million people living in the state. No other state with only one abortion clinic has as many residents. Mississippi has enacted every restriction on abortion possible within the limits set by the Supreme Court.

Among them is a provision that a woman must be counseled in person about the procedure and then wait 24 hours before being permitted to have it performed.
In 2000, researchers published a study of the effects of the waiting period. It showed that the number of later abortions increased sharply among Mississippi residents who relied on local clinics but not among those able to travel to neighboring states. The study showed that after the waiting period went into effect the number of second-trimester procedures in the state rose from 7.5 percent of all abortions to 11.5 percent.

That study was done before the legislature passed a bill that would bar all clinic abortions after the first trimester. A federal judge blocked its enforcement, saying he couldn't understand how it "does anything to further the state's professed desire to protect the health and safety of women."

Mandatory counseling includes a lecture that notes that medical benefits may be available for prenatal, childbirth and neonatal care. The woman seeking an abortion must receive a list of services and agencies that could assist her in having a child, including those that handle adoptions.

Mississippi has the highest infant-mortality rate in the nation and ranks 43rd among the 50 states in the number of women who have health insurance, according to a recent report by the Institute for Women's Policy Research. In 2004, the state failed to meet national standards on the length of time it took to restore foster children to their birth families and to place a child for adoption.

According to the Census, the average household in Mississippi has an income of just over $31,000 annually, about $10,000 below the national average. According to the Department of Agriculture, the cost of raising a child to age 18 is around $200,000.
The counseling provisions also require that patients in Mississippi be told that abortion may increase the risk of breast cancer.

The National Cancer Institute reported last year that there is no scientific evidence to support that contention. The British medical journal The Lancet looked at dozens of studies and concluded there was no link.

Mississippi is one of only two states that require a minor to get the consent of both parents to have an abortion. If the minor has been impregnated by her father, she needs only the consent of her mother.

The state has the highest teen birthrate in America. While nationwide the teenage-pregnancy rate has declined in recent years, in Mississippi it increased.

In 2001, nearly 200 babies were born to girls under the age of 15.

In 2002, almost 55,000 Mississippi grandparents had primary responsibility for the care of their grandchildren, according to the Child Welfare League of America. In 2001, 22 out of every thousand children in the state were reported to be abused or neglected. There was a 41 percent increase between 1998 and 2002 in the number of children younger than 18 arrested in the state.

Black residents account for only 37 percent of the state's population, but for nearly three out of every four abortions.

A typical woman in Mississippi earns 74 cents for every dollar a man makes. A typical black woman in Mississippi earns 79 cents for every dollar a white woman makes.

Black children make up more than half of those in foster care and in the state adoption system, according to the Mississippi Department of Human Services.

According to the Institute for Women's Policy Research, Mississippi ranks 51st in the percentage of its citizens living above the poverty level. (The District of Columbia was included in the sample.) Mississippi has the highest number of women in prison of any state. Between 1995 and 2003 the percentage of women inmates grew by more than 13 percent.
The Institute for Women's Policy Research is a nonprofit, nonpartisan group supported by foundation and government grants. In its most recent assessment of the overall condition of American women, it named Mississippi the worst state in the country. It was also named the worst state for women in 1998, 2000 and 2002. It ranked 49th in terms of women in elected office, and at the bottom of the list for health and well-being, including the incidence of diabetes and deaths from cancer and heart disease.

The institute ranked Mississippi worst in the nation for reproductive rights.

Protesters have vowed to shut down the state's sole remaining abortion clinic, which is in Jackson.

Sometimes you don't even have to state an opinion.

You just have to state the facts.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005
A day in a middle school just isn't complete until someone calls the cops...
Gotta love working in a middle school, one of our students left today in handcuffs, due to an incident unrelated to his fantastic behavior at school (insert sarcasm).

I came home today from work and my dogs started the ritual, I flop down on the bed for an hour while they harrass me. They expect head scratches and back rubs. If I stop touching them, they get mad and push their head under my hands. I do it with love..

I want to be a dog.

I want to come home and be given a treat, have someone spoon me and rub my head and scratch my back. Then go nap until I'm called to eat my prepared meal, and I get to leave the dishes.. Mind you crapping on the grass isn't my idea of fun.

Maybe I just want a love slave that waits on me hand and foot.

Yep, sounds good...

On a lighter note (haha) Ronald McDonald has undergone a makeover . What they don't mention here is that they actually did a live interview with Ronald himself.

And its a wonder why people don't watch 24 hour news channels...

Sorry for the excessive blogging today, feel free to post around...

Random Musings from All Over
Michael Jackson

- All the jurors said the mother was a bitch, and they didn't believe her. One said he believed that MJ had molested young boys, but not THIS young boy. I just hope enough people finally know and STOP BRINGING THEIR CHILDREN THERE... Doesn't seem that difficult, but apparently it is.

Mayor James West

This man (a Mayor in Washington State) wanted to get homosexuals out of the classroom, was very vocal about his disapproval of any gay marriage efforts and is just generally a swell guy.

Low and behold people came forward. West is gay, had solicited them, and offered them jobs in the mayor's office.

He was said that the media has humiliated him and his family. What about all the families he humiliated by saying that their gay relatives shouldn't be allowed near children. Do these rules apply to him? Should we allow him to be Mayor?

Maybe if we lived in a more accepting society then West could have come out years ago, and not had to bribe his lovers with jobs, this wouldn't have been such a big issue.


I hate to talk about this again, but something struck me as kinda odd. When questioned about whether he and Katie are going to get married he has said "Its gonna happen man".

How romantic... Guess the proposal will be pretty cut and dry.

Paris Hilton
Her words:
"I consider myself a businesswoman and a brand," contends the Carl's Jr. pitchwoman. "I know exactly what I'm doing."

She consider's herself a brand??? so that wasn't her getting freaky on the car, it was just her brand.... riiiiiiight...

People are insane...


Sunday, June 12, 2005
Crazy Cleaning Day
So I've learned something over the past 5 years of visiting my home in the states and leaving my bedroom in disarray.. It pisses my mum off to no end! So I'm planning early before I leave and cleaning like crazy...

So there are a lot of things that have been scaring me lately, here is my list..

TomKat- First of all I'm tired of name blending celeb couples names. I'm also frightened that Tom Cruise is dating a girl on the cover "Cosmo Girl"

Botox.. We have become so obsessed with youth and photoshopped perfection that we are injecting poison into our systems (by we and our I mean humans) it freaks me out a lot...

Again on the youth obsessed track, vaginal rejuvination. A face lift for your vagina. Ouch, and what the hell? When I'm fiftyfive, I will be sleeping (hopefully) with other 55 year olds (or 59 if I'm still with my current mate) so I've got a feeling a 55 year old penis doesn't look quite the same as a 25 year old penis... Whats next, testicle botox?

Paris Hilton- Do you ever play that game where you watch and ad and try to figure out what the ad is trying to sell? Thats what I had to do for the first 28 seconds of her 30 second spot. She scares me. She is famous just for being..... a whore? And how does Paris Hilton in heels and a bikini make you think of a burger? A huge artery clogging burger somehow links with a wet car and skinny blond woman who is a big fan of plastic surgery? Ick.

On a more personal note...

I got into teacher's college in Australia, very excited, obvously. A girlfriend of mine said she "really wished" I had decided to get my masters. I wasn't sure how to take that. I'm sure she meant it was a compliment, that I would thrive in that environment, but at the same time it got me thinking.....

By getting my teaching certificate does that mean I will never get my masters? I never thought of getting my B.Ed as a trap, or as if that meant it was the end of the road for me, I just thought that if I'm going to tell people how to teach, shouldn't I have taught myself? That and I LOVE teaching, and getting to teach high school English could be great for a couple years, and I could be getting my masters in the process.

I mean being a professor, and being able to try and effect change in what I'm passionate about is something I plan on doing, but I'm 22. I'm in no rush to start my Masters. I want to be sure I know what I want when I get started.

I went to university when I was 17, and I wasted time trying to figure out what I really wanted. I don't want to do that again. I want to take my time, get some real experience in the field before I decide how to research my subject area.

By getting my B.Ed and becoming a high school and I somehow going against my feminist beliefs, and joining a "typical career path" for a woman? What if I get into teaching and I fall in love, and never leave? Am I a failure somehow?

I sure my friend never meant all that, but like I said, it got me thinking....

is this what I'm destined to be?

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Saturday, June 11, 2005
For Those of you Still Interested
The Suzie and John Saga has come to a close. Apparently Suzie's suspension was based on other offensive classroom activities, not just the note passing. This is also not the first time she entraped boys and then cried sexual harrasment. She was told each time that if anyone is really making her feel uncomfortable she needs to stop talking to them, not continue leading them on. All of her little girlfriends were told the same thing. These girls love the drama.

As far as John goes, before we can do anything, we have to make sure we have enough to get him with, because his family will fight it, and bring lawyers.

The newest issue is that now the teacher I am working for is getting investigated for being too invloved, Suzie is claiming that the teacher put her to talking with John. My boss could lose her license..

Isn't working with kids rewarding?


Friday, June 10, 2005
Putting on the War Paint
As I eat my yogurt and drink my coffee (2 things that do not go together very well at all!) I am debating how to deal with this situation when today.

I made it very clear to the office manager that I was considering no longer applying for ANY position at this school. When I get to work, I know I will have to talk with administration because word gets around.

I will definetly not get to talk to the Principal, she hides from me after the last incident (she told me to just try and "put up with John's advances" and to "be the more mature one").

I doubt I will get to give her a piece of my mind until next week. What do I say? How does one go about losing it on a figure of authority without looking like a whinny child?

I play it over in my mind, over and over, how I could go about letting her know how I feel without stooping to her level.

She is a terrorist. an inhumane disgusting piece of human garbage that should never be allowed to come within 100 feet of children ever again. Thank the Gods for "suggested early retirement"

Thursday, June 09, 2005
I Want to Give Up... But it makes me so ANGRY
I've never written a post with tears in my eyes before so bear with me. This is part of the continuing saga of John and Suzie.

Suzie decided that she had had enough. She brought us letter she and John had passed back and forth in class. When we read it we could tell what he was trying to get at, inviting her over to his house, wanting her to give him something to remember her by.

She was upset. We told her that if there were any more notes being passed that we would want to see them.

She decided to take matters into her own hands. In today's session of note passing she tried to get him to talk about stuff, asked him to explain what he wanted. He figured it out and wouldn't take the bait.

We brought the letters to the administration in order for them to see the kinds of things John was saying to her. They hauled in Suzie.

They suspended her for writting inappropriate things, and felt that he had written nothing in these notes. John recieved no punishment.

It was bullshit.

The real reason why John is getting away with this is that earlier this year the Principal got John to lie for her in order to get a teacher suspended. A teacher that had pissed the Principal off.
Now if the Principal punishes John for anything, he will recant what he said about the teacher and the Principal will get in trouble.

While waiting for Suzie's mother to get to school I sat with her, talked to her. She explained that she has been suspended several times, gone to many different schools and wasn't too upset.

She told me about one suspension that got to me. In grade 4 she was raped. She came to school and talked about it, and was suspended.

Every time this girl cries out for help, the system punishes her. When I left work I was beyond livid. This close to quitting..

Part of me wants to give up, part of me wants to put up on war paint and fight...


Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Little Sperm Dumpster's Everywhere
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I fear for the future. Everyday I see little girls running around in t-shirts that have messages like this one (thinly veiled, I created this jpg to illustrate). Let me tell you the story of a girl named "Suzie" (actual girl but name changed)....

Suzie is a girl at the Middle School I work at, that likes to give blow jobs in the bathroom on campus before school starts, and has been doing this for a while. The poor thing does this so boys will like her, and they do, for a little while.

There is one boy "John" that asked her for a blowjob. This boy has sexually harrased me, and made me very uncomfortable and he has a history of doing this with other women and girls. Apparently John and Suzie live in the same apartment building, and her repeated refusals have made John upset.

In a phone call with John's mother she stated "Well he hasn't been preforming well lately at school because he has been upset. I mean Suzie is sucking everyone else, I don't see why she won't make my son a happy boy"

These are the kinds of issues I deal with every day.. Its no wonder teacher's burn out quickly...


Tuesday, June 07, 2005
moving to Australia...
It's official, I got into school in Australia. Feels like lightning running through my veins... So much to do, so much to decide... my dogs taunt me with their naps on my bed.

My bathroom lamp is flickering, so I feel like I'm brushing my teeth in a crack den.. Went to target, which is always fun, got the new coldplay album, very exciting.

Saw one of my students getting a pretzel in the crappy target food hole, we haven't seen him in school for weeks, keep hearing about how he is getting arrested and running away from home. Tried to talk to him, but he doesn't know me well enough to open up.

I need to stop getting on the scale. Its been determining my day lately.. One half pound off what I was expecting it to say and I have a crappy day...

To tired to think...

Too tired to Blog? NEVER!!


Monday, June 06, 2005
Whats Next...
As my current job runs out I'm starting wonder what I'm supposed to do next.

I have a plane ticket the next day to Canada to see my man..

I don't have a return ticket.

I'm wondering if I should buy one.

10 weeks intensly with my boyfriend.

I am very afraid we might drive eachother crazy.

I don't think his roommate wants me around that long...

I wonder if he wants me around that long.

He has a Master's Thesis to write.

That he thinks he could finish by August.

I don't want to mess that up.

I have to finish my courses...

I'm not comfortable with not working..

Like a failure. Like I'm letting my father down

By not working myself into exhaustion.

My mother gave me permission..

My mommy said I could take the summer off.

If I can get my course done.

If I stay here I will be depressed beyond explanation.

If I leave I will feel like a dissapointment.

Sunday, June 05, 2005
Hippie Drum Circle
I have decided that you haven't lived until you have experienced a hippie drum circle. I have never seen more love or beauty than seen 60 people sitting in a circle with all kinds of drums, garbage cans and water cooler bottles. People of all ages, all races and all classes. Everyone dancing together, in their own way, no judgment, dancing with little babies, old people and young hippies. another 20 people sat on the side lines, just watching, not having the guts to join.

The music never stops, a player drops out and another one joins, as a dancer stops, they pick up a drum.. The sound constantly changes never uniform, as if everyone is playing side by side yet not together. Somehow the sound was still amazing, and the dancing was beautiful.

How many of us go to a bar but are afraid to dance (unless we are drunk) or will only dance when we are home alone and all the windows are closed? Well I suggest you find a drum circle, because I've never seen people so free.

So I'm off to find a drum circle.. And make myself free..

A Day Away

I saw so much during my day in Santa Barbara that it warrants 2 posts. First about the day.... Hippie drum circle to come later.

Santa Barbara is my haven to escape from the sad little town I live in. It is beautiful, ocean to the one side, mountains to the other. SB makes me understand why people come to California and never leave. For some reason the weather in SB is always perfect, and people are ALWAYS outside, biking, playing on the beach, walking their dogs (everyone seems to have a dog in Cali),
protesting , and sitting around listening to music being played on the street.

My day in SB gave me a chance to clear my head. I was away from the Blog, my house, my phone. I got to seperate myself from my fight with my boyfriend, really figure out how I felt about a lot of changes that are about to happen in my life.

I know when I settle down it will have to be in an actual city, with culture. I need to be able to walk out my door and be around people... Suburbia scares me.

I know that as much as I love California, it is time to leave. I need to start my life. If that takes me to Australia then fantastic. If not, I just can't stay here. I need to get my own place to live, pay my own bills, and not live at home anymore.

If I could afford to spend the summer in SB I would be in heaven. Going for jogs on the beach in the morning, Yoga classes on the beach in the afternoon. Walking around town on Sunday, getting to see all the vendors and their beautiful handmade art and jewelery. Walking up State Street, eating vegetarian food on the patio. Farmer's Markets on Thursdays...

Pure Heaven...


Friday, June 03, 2005
Million Dollar Baby
I love my boyfriend. The one thing I love the most is that we RARELY fight. I think a lot of that has to do with the long distance, you don't want to get too angry because it's harder to make up over the phone, harder to tell if a person is better. So you avoid the fights, ignore the little things. Get over it faster.

Last night we had a fight, and by our standards, a big one. I won't go into details, I don't think that would be fair to him (he reads this and comments sometimes) but lets just say it got ugly. The gloves almost came off, we almost said a few things we would regret. Its interesting how much boxing terminology gets in when you talk about relationship fights....

You both get into the ring, gloves on, the full garb, as this is full contact. You yield your hurt ego like a pair of arms swinging, constantly moving and jockeying your position in the ring, throwing punches until something you say sticks....stings.... You get a small, sick sense of satisfaction when you render your adversary speechless, when something you say makes them think. Just like in boxing you can't hit to hard, you don't want to kill, you want to end the fight permanently, but you still want them (and your relationship) to live to fight another day.

Unlike boxing there is never a clear winner in relationship fights, no referee telling you when you hit under the belt.

Then there is the issue of the apology, one of you has to if you are going to get past it, but the one to do it first is automatically the loser. So maybe you master the art of the half apology.

So then you say your apologies, and then comes the cooling off period, the time when you lick your wounds.

I'm still there... hiding in the corner, licking my wounds. We talk on the phone, but its distant, small talk. It will take some time before things get back to normal. But I guess thats part of the cycle of relationships sometimes..


Thursday, June 02, 2005
candorville part 1

candorville part 1
Originally uploaded by littlemissknit.

candorville part 2

candorville part 2
Originally uploaded by littlemissknit.
Cute comic strip that happens to be about blogging this week!

candorville part 3

candorville part 3
Originally uploaded by littlemissknit.
a cute comic about bloggin! Read all three for the full effect!

Middle School Sucks
Whoever thought that middle school was a good idea was wrong. Middle Schoolers are evil. They are rude, they are disrespectful, they are sexually mature and are irresponsible with it. Today was the worst.

It was the last period of the day, and we have a group of boys and all they want to do is screw around. 2 more weeks of school, they have checked out. One boy won't stop staring at my chest. They are all being loud, acting out, and getting nothing done. I want to jump out of my skin. I confront this boy on his boobie-vision. He yells infront of the entire class "If I was staring at your chest you would know it!". At this point I've had enough. I'm outta here.

I leave and talk to the principal, I explain the situation and she is VERY understanding. She agreed to bring in another aide for when this boy is in the room, and I can trade with them during those times. I appreciated the support but it's not very comforting.

Starting to second guess myself again, as I'm sure we all do. I just really really really can't handle middle-schoolers.

Only 11 more School Days!!!


Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Fooling them all..
So, for those of you that don't know, I got my BA Hons in London, Ontario. Thats all I got, a BA in English. I've been substituting for a year in California, teaching everything from pre-school to near drop outs at the "community high school". Somehow in the process I have managed to fool them all into thinking I'm quite good. Especially with children with special needs. I don't know how I pulled this off.

I got a long-term position as an aide in a classroom for children with behavioural issue children ( a topic on which I blog frequently). A few weeks ago I was approached by the soon-to-be principal and she asked me what my plans were for next year because they have some teaching positions to fill in the special ed dept. and they want me to teach.

I'm not qualified.

They didn't care.

They ran the applications, I didn't apply. I want to go to Australia and get my teaching credential, I want to be with my boyfriend, I don't want to stay stuck in this suburbia hell, teaching middles schoolers and working with a bunch of See You Next Tuesday's (aka CUNTS!). So I didn't apply....

They ran the interviews. I got called into the principal's office today, she didn't like anyone they interviewed. She still wants me. I told her "I don't think I'm qualified" she said "we have faith in you, we've seen you in action, we like your work"

My ego is flatered, my desire to teach renewed, but I just can't stay here.

I just want to run away to my cabin with a DSL line.


I'm freaked.

My Brain Needs a Bath
I wrote this a week ago, didn't have the ovaries to publish it. I dare not call it poetry, just my ramblings. I wrote it after hearing an especially horrific story about one of my students, but it seems appropriate now...I'm currently freaking out since I've signed up to finish two distance studies computer science courses and I could apparently be moving to Australia.. with my boyfriend. I ran around the house this evening putting things in plastic sheet protectors...I'm just that kinda crazy... So sit back, relax and imagine yourself on lake, at dawn and enjoy!

I need to cleanse my brain
Of all the pain and hurt it has seen
It needs a bath,
A long warm bubbly bath
With beautiful music
And scented candles.
My brain needs to relax.

My brain has been telling me for weeks
to relax, slow down, enjoy,
Its been telling me with sly little hints..
A little bit of jaw pain from clenching my teeth
A furrowed brow that won't seem to go away
Heart burn as i'm trying to relax to sleep.
And so it starts.

Now my brain is yelling at me.
My forehead hurts furrowing
My jaw is in constant pain
And I fear my teeth will go dull
And the heartburn is starting first thing
When I wake up.
My brain won't stop yelling.

My brain needs a lack of noise.
Not just quiet but monumental quiet.
The kind of quiet that is only found in nature
In a quiet lake at dawn.

My brain needs to swim
In the eternal sunshine
Of all that is spotless.

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