The Horror of The Job Hunt

TFG has been having a very difficult time finding a job. Today's most amusing posts for job possibilities come from Craig's List.

1) "Trim My Cats Claws for $20"

My cat, moses, needs his claws trimmed. Even though Moses is super friendly, I usually don't do it myself because he just gives me this look and I can't go through with it. In other words, my cat owns me. $20 is what I usually pay when I post an ad on craigslist. I would like to done ASAP.

2) "Valid License"

i am seeking a person to work for wednesday from 11am to 1pm , excellent remuneration, just driving the van GMC Safari between one location to another, no lifting required and this is ongoing...every week the same route hours may be extended for a suitable person. Preferred person living around westend(kipling queensway). Needed urgent...can start this week

I figure that the cat clipping job might not pay well but at least TFG won't end up in jail.

Ah the joys of travel.

Ever weekend since TFG and I moved back to Toronto has been consumed by unpacking and family obligations. If we weren't knee deep in boxes, we were stuck in traffic as we slowly crept on the slushy highway to one more birthday party or "stag and doe".

This past weekends drive made all of them worth it though, because we got to see this:
Thank goodness I had my camera.

Fuck you John Petroski

John!
What the hell did you think would happen when you wrote your little "satire"? Did you think the ladies would fawn over you after you cited the rapes of Sabine and Lucretia? Did you think that by dropping names like Lucius Tarquinius Superbius and adopting the style of Swift and his "Modest Proposal" that it would excuse you for your disgusting and deplorable rant?
Two years ago when I was a young co-ed I dealt with knuckle-dragging-mouth-breathers like you. When we served a cake shaped like a vagina to celebrate "V-day" the lovely newspaper editors published a picture with the caption "ooh, tastes like fish". We didn't take it too seriously, but it certainly tainted our attempt to bring awareness and mainstream discussion to an important cause.
John, are you being raped? Figuratively or literally? Was the editorial board giving you crap? Did you feel that the newspaper wasn't letting you print the hard hitting articles a University paper needs? If so, I am sorry but that does not excuse your inability to grasp the obvious. For this reason I think you need a bit of a refresher so here ya go:

1) Rape is never funny.
2) Rape is never ever funny.
3) No matter how many fancy words or ancient history you cite, rape is never funny.
4) "Ugly chicks need love too, but they gotta get raped" is never ever funny.
5) You are not funny.
6) You are not "a bold satirist whose message fell on deaf ears" you are just an asshole.

Fuck you very much,
Knitty Kitty

Question for Mr. Cunt Puncher

Does the tat get you the ladies?

(sorry for the link, blogger wouldn't upload!)

Oh The Joys of Teaching!

My home base while I teach is the library and because of that I have a variety of interesting conversations with students. One such conversation was not so much interesting as it was scary.

After school today a student asked to borrow a pair of scissors. After trying a couple of draws with no luck, I asked the girl what reason she had for needing them she said "The mouse on the computer I logged onto is missing and I need to take the mouse off the other computer". She thought that in order to do that she would have to cut the cord on the mouse.
What she thought would happen after she cut the cord I don't know, I just don't plan of giving out scissors. ever.

Must. Blog. Something.

But I got nothin. I've been working my tail off to get my apartment in order while also teaching all day at the local high school.

I've tried writing something interesting a few times but I keep coming up short.
Instead would you settle for a laugh and the knowledge that I am still alive?
Whenever I have a panic attack about teaching I just think about Michelle and giggle, is that wrong?